0:00:01.043,0:00:04.304 What an intriguing[br]group of individuals you are ... 0:00:05.505,0:00:06.953 to a psychologist. 0:00:06.977,0:00:08.416 (Laughter) 0:00:08.440,0:00:11.546 I've had the opportunity[br]over the last couple of days 0:00:11.570,0:00:14.156 of listening in on some[br]of your conversations 0:00:14.984,0:00:17.150 and watching you interact with each other. 0:00:17.174,0:00:19.699 And I think it's fair to say, already, 0:00:19.723,0:00:24.911 that there are 47 people in this audience, 0:00:25.494,0:00:26.712 at this moment, 0:00:27.414,0:00:31.547 displaying psychological symptoms[br]I would like to discuss today. 0:00:31.571,0:00:32.918 (Laughter) 0:00:32.942,0:00:35.944 And I thought you might[br]like to know who you are. 0:00:35.968,0:00:37.391 (Laughter) 0:00:37.415,0:00:39.102 But instead of pointing at you, 0:00:39.126,0:00:42.324 which would be gratuitous and intrusive, 0:00:42.865,0:00:45.866 I thought I would tell you[br]a few facts and stories, 0:00:45.890,0:00:48.927 in which you may catch[br]a glimpse of yourself. 0:00:50.089,0:00:54.325 I'm in the field of research[br]known as personality psychology, 0:00:54.349,0:00:57.789 which is part of a larger[br]personality science 0:00:57.813,0:01:02.922 which spans the full spectrum,[br]from neurons to narratives. 0:01:03.337,0:01:04.790 And what we try to do, 0:01:05.601,0:01:07.164 in our own way, 0:01:07.188,0:01:09.932 is to make sense of how each of us -- 0:01:10.793,0:01:12.019 each of you -- 0:01:12.467,0:01:14.545 is, in certain respects, 0:01:14.569,0:01:15.932 like all other people, 0:01:16.993,0:01:18.377 like some other people 0:01:19.243,0:01:21.261 and like no other person. 0:01:22.579,0:01:25.746 Now, already you may[br]be saying of yourself, 0:01:25.770,0:01:27.515 "I'm not intriguing. 0:01:29.597,0:01:35.046 I am the 46th most boring person[br]in the Western Hemisphere." 0:01:35.895,0:01:38.184 Or you may say of yourself, 0:01:38.208,0:01:40.115 "I am intriguing, 0:01:41.252,0:01:45.203 even if I am regarded by most people[br]as a great, thundering twit." 0:01:45.227,0:01:46.417 (Laughter) 0:01:46.441,0:01:52.301 But it is your self-diagnosed boringness[br]and your inherent "twitiness" 0:01:52.325,0:01:56.752 that makes me, as a psychologist,[br]really fascinated by you. 0:01:57.172,0:01:59.523 So let me explain why this is so. 0:02:00.284,0:02:04.445 One of the most influential approaches[br]in personality science 0:02:04.469,0:02:06.059 is known as trait psychology, 0:02:06.083,0:02:11.452 and it aligns you along five dimensions[br]which are normally distributed, 0:02:11.476,0:02:18.466 and that describe universally held aspects[br]of difference between people. 0:02:19.379,0:02:21.708 They spell out the acronym OCEAN. 0:02:22.105,0:02:25.156 So, "O" stands for "open to experience," 0:02:25.180,0:02:27.531 versus those who are more closed. 0:02:27.555,0:02:30.730 "C" stands for "conscientiousness," 0:02:30.754,0:02:34.398 in contrast to those with a more[br]lackadaisical approach to life. 0:02:34.422,0:02:39.065 "E" -- "extroversion," in contrast[br]to more introverted people. 0:02:39.089,0:02:41.781 "A" -- "agreeable individuals," 0:02:41.805,0:02:45.227 in contrast to those[br]decidedly not agreeable. 0:02:45.599,0:02:48.243 And "N" -- "neurotic individuals," 0:02:48.267,0:02:50.940 in contrast to those who are more stable. 0:02:52.268,0:02:55.658 All of these dimensions have[br]implications for our well-being, 0:02:55.682,0:02:58.188 for how our life goes. 0:02:58.762,0:03:01.111 And so we know that, for example, 0:03:01.135,0:03:06.110 openness and conscientiousness[br]are very good predictors of life success, 0:03:06.829,0:03:11.206 but the open people achieve that success[br]through being audacious 0:03:11.230,0:03:13.408 and, occasionally, odd. 0:03:14.077,0:03:18.442 The conscientious people[br]achieve it through sticking to deadlines, 0:03:18.466,0:03:22.388 to persevering, as well as[br]having some passion. 0:03:23.662,0:03:27.548 Extroversion and agreeableness[br]are both conducive 0:03:27.572,0:03:30.150 to working well with people. 0:03:30.866,0:03:33.854 Extroverts, for example,[br]I find intriguing. 0:03:33.878,0:03:36.861 With my classes, I sometimes[br]give them a basic fact 0:03:36.885,0:03:39.852 that might be revealing[br]with respect to their personality: 0:03:40.356,0:03:45.402 I tell them that it is virtually[br]impossible for adults 0:03:45.426,0:03:49.263 to lick the outside of their own elbow. 0:03:49.287,0:03:50.541 (Laughter) 0:03:50.565,0:03:51.949 Did you know that? 0:03:53.505,0:03:57.694 Already, some of you have tried[br]to lick the outside of your own elbow. 0:03:57.718,0:03:59.494 But extroverts amongst you 0:03:59.518,0:04:02.129 are probably those[br]who have not only tried, 0:04:02.153,0:04:04.643 but they have successfully[br]licked the elbow 0:04:04.667,0:04:06.358 of the person sitting next to them. 0:04:06.382,0:04:07.384 (Laughter) 0:04:07.408,0:04:09.093 Those are the extroverts. 0:04:09.117,0:04:12.536 Let me deal in a bit more detail[br]with extroversion, 0:04:12.560,0:04:15.519 because it's consequential[br]and it's intriguing, 0:04:15.543,0:04:19.024 and it helps us understand[br]what I call our three natures. 0:04:19.048,0:04:22.719 First, our biogenic nature --[br]our neurophysiology. 0:04:22.743,0:04:25.726 Second, our sociogenic or second nature, 0:04:26.279,0:04:30.137 which has to do with the cultural[br]and social aspects of our lives. 0:04:30.744,0:04:37.647 And third, what makes you[br]individually you -- idiosyncratic -- 0:04:38.190,0:04:41.236 what I call your "idiogenic" nature. 0:04:41.260,0:04:42.416 Let me explain. 0:04:44.901,0:04:48.386 One of the things that characterizes[br]extroverts is they need stimulation. 0:04:48.971,0:04:53.695 And that stimulation can be achieved[br]by finding things that are exciting: 0:04:53.719,0:04:57.756 loud noises, parties[br]and social events here at TED -- 0:04:57.780,0:05:01.007 you see the extroverts[br]forming a magnetic core. 0:05:01.031,0:05:02.690 They all gather together. 0:05:02.714,0:05:04.129 And I've seen you. 0:05:04.153,0:05:07.476 The introverts are more likely[br]to spend time in the quiet spaces 0:05:07.500,0:05:09.323 up on the second floor, 0:05:09.347,0:05:13.139 where they are able[br]to reduce stimulation -- 0:05:13.163,0:05:17.098 and may be misconstrued[br]as being antisocial, 0:05:17.122,0:05:20.120 but you're not necessarily antisocial. 0:05:21.310,0:05:24.208 It may be that you simply realize[br]that you do better 0:05:25.436,0:05:29.847 when you have a chance[br]to lower that level of stimulation. 0:05:30.998,0:05:35.146 Sometimes it's an internal[br]stimulant, from your body. 0:05:35.170,0:05:40.085 Caffeine, for example, works much better[br]with extroverts than it does introverts. 0:05:40.109,0:05:43.288 When extroverts come into the office[br]at nine o'clock in the morning 0:05:43.312,0:05:46.197 and say, "I really need a cup of coffee," 0:05:46.221,0:05:47.372 they're not kidding -- 0:05:47.396,0:05:48.569 they really do. 0:05:49.531,0:05:51.337 Introverts do not do as well, 0:05:51.361,0:05:53.878 particularly if the tasks[br]they're engaged in -- 0:05:54.913,0:05:56.458 and they've had some coffee -- 0:05:56.482,0:05:58.620 if those tasks are speeded, 0:05:58.644,0:06:00.523 and if they're quantitative, 0:06:00.547,0:06:04.941 introverts may give the appearance[br]of not being particularly quantitative. 0:06:05.580,0:06:07.220 But it's a misconstrual. 0:06:07.244,0:06:10.288 So here are the consequences[br]that are really quite intriguing: 0:06:10.312,0:06:12.395 we're not always what seem to be, 0:06:12.419,0:06:15.703 and that takes me to my next point. 0:06:16.196,0:06:18.752 I should say, before getting to this, 0:06:18.776,0:06:21.456 something about sexual intercourse, 0:06:21.480,0:06:23.581 although I may not have time. 0:06:23.605,0:06:26.477 And so, if you would like me to -- 0:06:26.501,0:06:27.652 yes, you would? 0:06:27.676,0:06:28.827 OK. 0:06:28.851,0:06:29.936 (Laughter) 0:06:29.960,0:06:31.120 There are studies done 0:06:31.144,0:06:36.469 on the frequency with which[br]individuals engage in the conjugal act, 0:06:37.406,0:06:40.645 as broken down by male, female;[br]introvert, extrovert. 0:06:41.100,0:06:42.251 So I ask you: 0:06:42.275,0:06:44.347 How many times per minute -- 0:06:45.162,0:06:47.046 oh, I'm sorry, that was a rat study -- 0:06:47.070,0:06:49.077 (Laughter) 0:06:50.151,0:06:51.953 How many times per month 0:06:54.715,0:06:57.974 do introverted men engage in the act? 0:06:58.486,0:06:59.876 3.0. 0:06:59.900,0:07:01.532 Extroverted men? 0:07:01.556,0:07:03.166 More or less? 0:07:03.616,0:07:05.244 Yes, more. 0:07:05.607,0:07:07.974 5.5 -- almost twice as much. 0:07:09.264,0:07:11.832 Introverted women: 3.1. 0:07:11.856,0:07:13.452 Extroverted women? 0:07:13.476,0:07:16.822 Frankly, speaking as an introverted male, 0:07:16.846,0:07:18.583 which I will explain later -- 0:07:18.607,0:07:20.188 they are heroic. 0:07:20.973,0:07:22.748 7.5. 0:07:23.782,0:07:26.134 They not only handle[br]all the male extroverts, 0:07:26.158,0:07:28.251 they pick up a few introverts as well. 0:07:28.275,0:07:30.171 (Laughter) 0:07:30.195,0:07:32.515 (Applause) 0:07:36.796,0:07:41.097 We communicate differently,[br]extroverts and introverts. 0:07:42.576,0:07:44.082 Extroverts, when they interact, 0:07:44.106,0:07:48.571 want to have lots of social encounter[br]punctuated by closeness. 0:07:48.595,0:07:51.586 They'd like to stand close[br]for comfortable communication. 0:07:52.547,0:07:54.746 They like to have a lot of eye contact, 0:07:54.770,0:07:56.114 or mutual gaze. 0:07:57.241,0:07:58.448 We found in some research 0:07:58.472,0:08:01.470 that they use more diminutive terms[br]when they meet somebody. 0:08:01.873,0:08:04.586 So when an extrovert meets a Charles, 0:08:04.610,0:08:07.495 it rapidly becomes "Charlie,"[br]and then "Chuck," 0:08:07.519,0:08:09.198 and then "Chuckles Baby." 0:08:09.222,0:08:10.714 (Laughter) 0:08:11.032,0:08:12.437 Whereas for introverts, 0:08:12.461,0:08:17.366 it remains "Charles," until he's given[br]a pass to be more intimate 0:08:17.390,0:08:19.610 by the person he's talking to. 0:08:20.044,0:08:22.829 We speak differently. 0:08:24.934,0:08:30.171 Extroverts prefer black-and-white,[br]concrete, simple language. 0:08:31.854,0:08:35.648 Introverts prefer --[br]and I must again tell you 0:08:35.672,0:08:40.029 that I am as extreme an introvert[br]as you could possibly imagine -- 0:08:40.853,0:08:42.570 we speak differently. 0:08:42.594,0:08:46.589 We prefer contextually complex, 0:08:46.613,0:08:48.545 contingent, 0:08:48.569,0:08:50.585 weasel-word sentences -- 0:08:50.609,0:08:51.632 (Laughter) 0:08:51.656,0:08:53.018 More or less. 0:08:53.385,0:08:54.821 (Laughter) 0:08:54.845,0:08:56.045 As it were. 0:08:56.069,0:08:57.084 (Laughter) 0:08:57.108,0:08:59.108 Not to put too fine a point upon it -- 0:08:59.848,0:09:01.021 like that. 0:09:01.955,0:09:03.357 When we talk, 0:09:03.381,0:09:05.123 we sometimes talk past each other. 0:09:05.724,0:09:08.352 I had a consulting contract[br]I shared with a colleague 0:09:08.376,0:09:11.380 who's as different from me[br]as two people can possibly be. 0:09:11.739,0:09:13.518 First, his name is Tom. 0:09:14.499,0:09:15.713 Mine isn't. 0:09:15.737,0:09:17.008 (Laughter) 0:09:17.032,0:09:18.963 Secondly, he's six foot five. 0:09:18.987,0:09:20.939 I have a tendency not to be. 0:09:20.963,0:09:22.006 (Laughter) 0:09:22.030,0:09:25.753 And thirdly, he's as extroverted[br]a person as you could find. 0:09:25.777,0:09:28.157 I am seriously introverted. 0:09:28.670,0:09:30.365 I overload so much, 0:09:30.389,0:09:35.203 I can't even have a cup of coffee[br]after three in the afternoon 0:09:35.227,0:09:37.515 and expect to sleep in the evening. 0:09:38.178,0:09:42.130 We had seconded to this project[br]a fellow called Michael. 0:09:43.320,0:09:47.492 And Michael almost brought[br]the project to a crashing halt. 0:09:48.528,0:09:52.324 So the person who seconded him[br]asked Tom and me, 0:09:53.244,0:09:54.703 "What do you make of Michael?" 0:09:54.727,0:09:56.997 Well, I'll tell you[br]what Tom said in a minute. 0:09:57.021,0:09:59.337 He spoke in classic "extrovert-ese." 0:09:59.955,0:10:03.530 And here is how extroverted ears[br]heard what I said, 0:10:03.554,0:10:05.507 which is actually pretty accurate. 0:10:05.531,0:10:09.791 I said, "Well Michael does have[br]a tendency at times 0:10:10.385,0:10:13.671 of behaving in a way[br]that some of us might see 0:10:14.489,0:10:18.624 as perhaps more assertive[br]than is normally called for." 0:10:18.941,0:10:21.251 (Laughter) 0:10:21.611,0:10:23.388 Tom rolled his eyes and he said, 0:10:23.412,0:10:25.941 "Brian, that's what I said: 0:10:26.629,0:10:28.029 he's an asshole!" 0:10:28.053,0:10:30.230 (Laughter) 0:10:30.254,0:10:32.075 (Applause) 0:10:33.509,0:10:34.776 Now, as an introvert, 0:10:34.800,0:10:39.981 I might gently allude to certain[br]"assholic" qualities 0:10:40.005,0:10:41.300 in this man's behavior, 0:10:41.324,0:10:44.128 but I'm not going to lunge for the a-word. 0:10:44.152,0:10:45.928 (Laughter) 0:10:47.228,0:10:48.494 But the extrovert says, 0:10:48.518,0:10:51.392 "If he walks like one, if he talks[br]like one, I call him one." 0:10:51.416,0:10:52.828 And we go past each other. 0:10:53.498,0:10:57.464 Now is this something[br]that we should be heedful of? 0:10:57.488,0:10:58.654 Of course. 0:10:58.678,0:11:00.262 It's important that we know this. 0:11:00.286,0:11:01.825 Is that all we are? 0:11:02.670,0:11:04.711 Are we just a bunch of traits? 0:11:05.563,0:11:06.825 No, we're not. 0:11:08.116,0:11:10.372 Remember, you're like some other people 0:11:11.266,0:11:12.975 and like no other person. 0:11:13.487,0:11:15.922 How about that idiosyncratic you? 0:11:16.485,0:11:19.736 As Elizabeth or as George, 0:11:19.760,0:11:22.640 you may share your extroversion[br]or your neuroticism. 0:11:24.251,0:11:28.258 But are there some distinctively[br]Elizabethan features of your behavior, 0:11:28.282,0:11:30.479 or Georgian of yours, 0:11:31.732,0:11:35.582 that make us understand you[br]better than just a bunch of traits? 0:11:36.240,0:11:38.643 That make us love you? 0:11:39.461,0:11:42.455 Not just because you're[br]a certain type of person. 0:11:43.188,0:11:45.812 I'm uncomfortable putting[br]people in pigeonholes. 0:11:47.081,0:11:49.672 I don't even think pigeons[br]belong in pigeonholes. 0:11:51.235,0:11:53.304 So what is it that makes us different? 0:11:54.004,0:11:58.901 It's the doings that we have[br]in our life -- the personal projects. 0:11:59.403,0:12:01.224 You have a personal project right now, 0:12:01.248,0:12:04.334 but nobody may know it here. 0:12:05.504,0:12:07.312 It relates to your kid -- 0:12:07.336,0:12:09.536 you've been back three times[br]to the hospital, 0:12:09.560,0:12:11.456 and they still don't know what's wrong. 0:12:13.373,0:12:14.697 Or it could be your mom. 0:12:16.092,0:12:18.194 And you'd been acting out of character. 0:12:18.218,0:12:19.780 These are free traits. 0:12:21.521,0:12:24.601 You're very agreeable,[br]but you act disagreeably 0:12:24.625,0:12:28.498 in order to break down those barriers[br]of administrative torpor 0:12:28.522,0:12:29.673 in the hospital, 0:12:29.697,0:12:32.323 to get something[br]for your mom or your child. 0:12:33.814,0:12:35.321 What are these free traits? 0:12:35.345,0:12:37.915 They're where we enact a script 0:12:37.939,0:12:40.592 in order to advance[br]a core project in our lives. 0:12:41.744,0:12:43.802 And they are what matters. 0:12:43.826,0:12:46.098 Don't ask people what type you are; 0:12:46.742,0:12:49.496 ask them, "What are your core[br]projects in your life?" 0:12:49.520,0:12:51.304 And we enact those free traits. 0:12:51.328,0:12:52.643 I'm an introvert, 0:12:52.667,0:12:57.253 but I have a core project,[br]which is to profess. 0:12:57.640,0:12:58.848 I'm a professor. 0:12:59.798,0:13:01.655 And I adore my students, 0:13:03.080,0:13:04.667 and I adore my field. 0:13:04.691,0:13:10.469 And I can't wait to tell them[br]about what's new, what's exciting, 0:13:11.366,0:13:13.618 what I can't wait to tell them about. 0:13:13.642,0:13:15.462 And so I act in an extroverted way, 0:13:15.486,0:13:17.014 because at eight in the morning, 0:13:17.038,0:13:19.382 the students need a little bit of humor, 0:13:19.406,0:13:22.128 a little bit of engagement[br]to keep them going 0:13:22.152,0:13:23.603 in arduous days of study. 0:13:24.277,0:13:25.714 But we need to be very careful 0:13:26.456,0:13:29.412 when we act protractedly out of character. 0:13:30.679,0:13:35.411 Sometimes we may find[br]that we don't take care of ourselves. 0:13:37.309,0:13:41.923 I find, for example, after a period[br]of pseudo-extroverted behavior, 0:13:41.947,0:13:44.247 I need to repair somewhere on my own. 0:13:45.916,0:13:49.035 As Susan Cain said in her "Quiet" book, 0:13:49.059,0:13:52.031 in a chapter that featured[br]the strange Canadian professor 0:13:52.055,0:13:54.050 who was teaching at the time at Harvard, 0:13:55.145,0:13:56.805 I sometimes go to the men's room 0:13:56.829,0:14:00.525 to escape the slings and arrows[br]of outrageous extroverts. 0:14:01.069,0:14:02.153 (Laughter) 0:14:02.177,0:14:08.549 I remember one particular day[br]when I was retired to a cubicle, 0:14:08.573,0:14:10.498 trying to avoid overstimulation. 0:14:11.117,0:14:16.364 And a real extrovert came[br]in beside me -- not right in my cubicle, 0:14:16.388,0:14:18.343 but in the next cubicle over -- 0:14:18.367,0:14:20.690 and I could hear various[br]evacuatory noises, 0:14:20.714,0:14:22.983 which we hate -- even our own, 0:14:23.007,0:14:25.737 that's why we flush[br]during as well as after. 0:14:25.761,0:14:27.493 (Laughter) 0:14:28.360,0:14:32.950 And then I heard[br]this gravelly voice saying, 0:14:32.974,0:14:35.409 "Hey, is that Dr. Little?" 0:14:35.433,0:14:37.362 (Laughter) 0:14:38.664,0:14:45.031 If anything is guaranteed[br]to constipate an introvert for six months, 0:14:45.055,0:14:46.816 it's talking on the john. 0:14:46.840,0:14:48.070 (Laughter) 0:14:48.094,0:14:50.194 That's where I'm going now. 0:14:50.696,0:14:52.052 Don't follow me. 0:14:52.564,0:14:53.743 Thank you. 0:14:53.767,0:15:02.885 (Applause)