WEBVTT 00:00:07.673 --> 00:00:11.996 Ok, here's the second question. This comes from Mariah. 00:00:11.996 --> 00:00:16.836 Now, look, some of these you say, 00:00:16.836 --> 00:00:21.466 "really? I mean, isn't the answer obvious?" 00:00:21.466 --> 00:00:24.202 But you'd be amazed pastorally 00:00:24.202 --> 00:00:27.202 how often we have to deal with questions 00:00:27.202 --> 00:00:32.113 that might seem obvious. 00:00:32.113 --> 00:00:37.240 Mariah: "Is it ok for married brothers..." 00:00:37.240 --> 00:00:41.340 (so we've got married Christans, men) 00:00:41.340 --> 00:00:46.957 "In leadership positions - pastors, elders, deacons, etc. - 00:00:46.957 --> 00:00:54.845 to casually text or email single sisters? 00:00:54.845 --> 00:00:58.575 Why or why not? Are there any exceptions?" 00:00:58.575 --> 00:01:01.352 I'm not sure why Mariah would ask this, but... 00:01:01.352 --> 00:01:09.206 I can imagine if a young lady, newly saved, in a church, 00:01:09.206 --> 00:01:11.746 she hears that some of her friends are 00:01:11.746 --> 00:01:20.372 receiving casual texts from church officers who are married. 00:01:20.372 --> 00:01:26.158 Is that reason for alarm? For concern? You raise your eyebrows? 00:01:26.158 --> 00:01:37.062 If it was happening in this church would it just be normal, normative, ok? 00:01:37.062 --> 00:01:40.189 I mean, you know what came to my mind, 00:01:40.189 --> 00:01:43.859 is she ought to go ask those men's wives. 00:01:43.859 --> 00:01:47.748 Right? I mean, ladies, come on. 00:01:47.748 --> 00:01:50.748 I think most of the ladies in here are single. 00:01:50.748 --> 00:01:55.993 But ladies if you were married to a church officer and your husband... 00:01:55.993 --> 00:02:04.048 now did you notice the adjective? "Casually texting." 00:02:04.048 --> 00:02:10.391 I text with certain sisters in the church - not casually - 00:02:10.391 --> 00:02:15.571 because it's easier than a phone call. 00:02:15.571 --> 00:02:20.915 But casually, ladies, would you be ok with that? 00:02:20.915 --> 00:02:25.005 Or would you say there's exceptions. 00:02:25.005 --> 00:02:27.639 There would be times it would be ok. 00:02:27.639 --> 00:02:31.812 But just to find out, if you found your husband's phone... 00:02:31.812 --> 00:02:33.724 maybe getting ready to do laundry, 00:02:33.724 --> 00:02:35.994 empty his pockets, hey, there's his phone, 00:02:35.994 --> 00:02:38.969 and you see, well, he's texting single sisters 00:02:38.969 --> 00:02:42.289 in the church casually. Are you ok with that? 00:02:42.289 --> 00:02:47.199 Grace, you ok with that? 00:02:47.199 --> 00:02:53.891 Or does it depend? 00:02:53.891 --> 00:02:59.200 Is everybody ok with it? 00:02:59.200 --> 00:03:05.583 (in the background, "No!") 00:03:05.583 --> 00:03:09.354 Emotional attachment? Is there a text in the Bible that says, 00:03:09.354 --> 00:03:13.457 "Thou shalt not text single women." 00:03:13.457 --> 00:03:15.457 Of course not. 00:03:15.457 --> 00:03:23.619 (in background) How would she feel if she was married 00:03:23.619 --> 00:03:26.619 and someone was doing that? 00:03:26.619 --> 00:03:34.379 Tim: Right. That would be very appropriate to put that back in her lap. 00:03:34.379 --> 00:03:37.598 But she doesn't say if she's single or not. So I don't know - 00:03:37.598 --> 00:03:43.292 she may actually be the wife of one of the guys, I'm not sure. 00:03:43.292 --> 00:03:46.498 There's not enough detail there for me to know. 00:03:46.498 --> 00:03:50.345 But we know this, just a couple texts: 00:03:50.345 --> 00:03:55.947 Matthew 15:19, "Out of the heart comes evil thoughts, murder, adultery, 00:03:55.947 --> 00:03:59.966 sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. 00:03:59.966 --> 00:04:02.966 These are what defile a person." 00:04:02.966 --> 00:04:10.377 Or if you think of 1 Cor 6:18, "Flee from sexual immorality." 00:04:10.377 --> 00:04:16.429 Here's a thing, let's just think about this, 00:04:16.429 --> 00:04:27.193 Men in ministry fall all the time. All the time. 00:04:27.193 --> 00:04:29.432 It happens a lot. 00:04:29.432 --> 00:04:34.252 Single, young ladies are vulnerable. 00:04:34.252 --> 00:04:43.332 And the thing is are we really ignorant as to how infidelity happens? 00:04:43.332 --> 00:04:51.366 We're not. It's like James is talking about. 00:04:51.366 --> 00:04:59.664 There are the guys that they prey on women. 00:04:59.664 --> 00:05:03.464 They get in places of power and they prey on them. 00:05:03.464 --> 00:05:11.644 Their idea right up front is - there's no restraint. 00:05:11.644 --> 00:05:15.750 But I have a feeling that a lot of the men that fall, 00:05:15.750 --> 00:05:18.750 they never thought they would. 00:05:18.750 --> 00:05:25.330 They did not start out intending to. 00:05:25.330 --> 00:05:28.330 How does infidelity happen when at first there is no intention to it? 00:05:28.330 --> 00:05:31.239 It doesn't happen like that. 00:05:31.239 --> 00:05:34.979 It happens by staging, by degrees, by steps. 00:05:34.979 --> 00:05:38.870 And what happens? Well, sexual immorality is a matter of the heart. 00:05:38.870 --> 00:05:45.262 What happens is the heart gets involved, the affections, the emotions. 00:05:45.262 --> 00:05:48.441 And how does it happen? Well, through communication. 00:05:48.441 --> 00:05:51.831 Certainly through communication. 00:05:51.831 --> 00:05:55.069 And what happens is that there's 00:05:55.069 --> 00:05:58.869 communication that goes back and forth. 00:05:58.869 --> 00:06:04.646 And we're not ignorant about this. 00:06:04.646 --> 00:06:10.278 And the thing is if you're in ministry, 00:06:10.278 --> 00:06:13.278 you're especially going to be a target of the devil, 00:06:13.278 --> 00:06:20.391 and it's just... casual - that's the thing. 00:06:20.391 --> 00:06:26.221 It's dangerous. It's dangerous. 00:06:26.221 --> 00:06:31.246 And it's private. You end up having private communication 00:06:31.246 --> 00:06:33.926 with a woman who's not your wife 00:06:33.926 --> 00:06:35.840 when you do have a wife, 00:06:35.840 --> 00:06:38.840 and that's exactly the kind of communication where 00:06:38.840 --> 00:06:43.293 suddenly the hook goes in the heart. 00:06:43.293 --> 00:06:45.778 It's just that kind of communication. 00:06:45.778 --> 00:06:48.778 I'm not saying that it always leads to that. 00:06:48.778 --> 00:06:51.029 But certainly the men that fall, 00:06:51.029 --> 00:06:54.029 they were certainly doing things just like this. 00:06:54.029 --> 00:06:58.441 And if we're supposed to flee from this, 00:06:58.441 --> 00:07:01.441 we need to run from it like you'd run from 00:07:01.441 --> 00:07:06.624 Catholicism like the plague, you need to run from these kind of things. 00:07:06.624 --> 00:07:08.529 We need to be very careful. 00:07:08.529 --> 00:07:11.529 Because the moment we get presumptuous and say, 00:07:11.529 --> 00:07:15.338 "Well, I can play with that fire and it's not going to burn me," 00:07:15.338 --> 00:07:17.244 that's the second God - 00:07:17.244 --> 00:07:21.424 you may even be a true child of God, and God may 00:07:21.424 --> 00:07:26.646 allow you, like David, to fall flat on your face, 00:07:26.646 --> 00:07:29.539 and it can just destroy your life, your marriage, 00:07:29.539 --> 00:07:33.230 your family, your ministry for sure.