0:00:07.673,0:00:11.996 Ok, here's the second question. This comes from Mariah. 0:00:11.996,0:00:16.836 Now, look, some of these you say, 0:00:16.836,0:00:21.466 "really? I mean, isn't the answer obvious?" 0:00:21.466,0:00:24.202 But you'd be amazed pastorally 0:00:24.202,0:00:27.202 how often we have to deal with questions 0:00:27.202,0:00:32.113 that might seem obvious. 0:00:32.113,0:00:37.240 Mariah: "Is it ok for married brothers..." 0:00:37.240,0:00:41.340 (so we've got married Christans, men) 0:00:41.340,0:00:46.957 "In leadership positions - pastors, elders, deacons, etc. - 0:00:46.957,0:00:54.845 to casually text or email single sisters? 0:00:54.845,0:00:58.575 Why or why not? Are there any exceptions?" 0:00:58.575,0:01:01.352 I'm not sure why Mariah would ask this, but... 0:01:01.352,0:01:09.206 I can imagine if a young lady, newly saved, in a church, 0:01:09.206,0:01:11.746 she hears that some of her friends are 0:01:11.746,0:01:20.372 receiving casual texts from church officers who are married. 0:01:20.372,0:01:26.158 Is that reason for alarm? For concern? You raise your eyebrows? 0:01:26.158,0:01:37.062 If it was happening in this church would it just be normal, normative, ok? 0:01:37.062,0:01:40.189 I mean, you know what came to my mind, 0:01:40.189,0:01:43.859 is she ought to go ask those men's wives. 0:01:43.859,0:01:47.748 Right? I mean, ladies, come on. 0:01:47.748,0:01:50.748 I think most of the ladies in here are single. 0:01:50.748,0:01:55.993 But ladies if you were married to a church officer and your husband... 0:01:55.993,0:02:04.048 now did you notice the adjective? "Casually texting." 0:02:04.048,0:02:10.391 I text with certain sisters in the church - not casually - 0:02:10.391,0:02:15.571 because it's easier than a phone call. 0:02:15.571,0:02:20.915 But casually, ladies, would you be ok with that? 0:02:20.915,0:02:25.005 Or would you say there's exceptions. 0:02:25.005,0:02:27.639 There would be times it would be ok. 0:02:27.639,0:02:31.812 But just to find out, if you found your husband's phone... 0:02:31.812,0:02:33.724 maybe getting ready to do laundry, 0:02:33.724,0:02:35.994 empty his pockets, hey, there's his phone, 0:02:35.994,0:02:38.969 and you see, well, he's texting single sisters 0:02:38.969,0:02:42.289 in the church casually. Are you ok with that? 0:02:42.289,0:02:47.199 Grace, you ok with that? 0:02:47.199,0:02:53.891 Or does it depend? 0:02:53.891,0:02:59.200 Is everybody ok with it? 0:02:59.200,0:03:05.583 (in the background, "No!") 0:03:05.583,0:03:09.354 Emotional attachment? Is there a text in the Bible that says, 0:03:09.354,0:03:13.457 "Thou shalt not text single women." 0:03:13.457,0:03:15.457 Of course not. 0:03:15.457,0:03:23.619 (in background) How would she feel if she was married 0:03:23.619,0:03:26.619 and someone was doing that? 0:03:26.619,0:03:34.379 Tim: Right. That would be very appropriate to put that back in her lap. 0:03:34.379,0:03:37.598 But she doesn't say if she's single or not. So I don't know - 0:03:37.598,0:03:43.292 she may actually be the wife of one of the guys, I'm not sure. 0:03:43.292,0:03:46.498 There's not enough detail there for me to know. 0:03:46.498,0:03:50.345 But we know this, just a couple texts: 0:03:50.345,0:03:55.947 Matthew 15:19, "Out of the heart comes evil thoughts, murder, adultery, 0:03:55.947,0:03:59.966 sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. 0:03:59.966,0:04:02.966 These are what defile a person." 0:04:02.966,0:04:10.377 Or if you think of 1 Cor 6:18, "Flee from sexual immorality." 0:04:10.377,0:04:16.429 Here's a thing, let's just think about this, 0:04:16.429,0:04:27.193 Men in ministry fall all the time. All the time. 0:04:27.193,0:04:29.432 It happens a lot. 0:04:29.432,0:04:34.252 Single, young ladies are vulnerable. 0:04:34.252,0:04:43.332 And the thing is are we really ignorant as to how infidelity happens? 0:04:43.332,0:04:51.366 We're not. It's like James is talking about. 0:04:51.366,0:04:59.664 There are the guys that they prey on women. 0:04:59.664,0:05:03.464 They get in places of power and they prey on them. 0:05:03.464,0:05:11.644 Their idea right up front is - there's no restraint. 0:05:11.644,0:05:15.750 But I have a feeling that a lot of the men that fall, 0:05:15.750,0:05:18.750 they never thought they would. 0:05:18.750,0:05:25.330 They did not start out intending to. 0:05:25.330,0:05:28.330 How does infidelity happen when at first there is no intention to it? 0:05:28.330,0:05:31.239 It doesn't happen like that. 0:05:31.239,0:05:34.979 It happens by staging, by degrees, by steps. 0:05:34.979,0:05:38.870 And what happens? Well, sexual immorality is a matter of the heart. 0:05:38.870,0:05:45.262 What happens is the heart gets involved, the affections, the emotions. 0:05:45.262,0:05:48.441 And how does it happen? Well, through communication. 0:05:48.441,0:05:51.831 Certainly through communication. 0:05:51.831,0:05:55.069 And what happens is that there's 0:05:55.069,0:05:58.869 communication that goes back and forth. 0:05:58.869,0:06:04.646 And we're not ignorant about this. 0:06:04.646,0:06:10.278 And the thing is if you're in ministry, 0:06:10.278,0:06:13.278 you're especially going to be a target of the devil, 0:06:13.278,0:06:20.391 and it's just... casual - that's the thing. 0:06:20.391,0:06:26.221 It's dangerous. It's dangerous. 0:06:26.221,0:06:31.246 And it's private. You end up having private communication 0:06:31.246,0:06:33.926 with a woman who's not your wife 0:06:33.926,0:06:35.840 when you do have a wife, 0:06:35.840,0:06:38.840 and that's exactly the kind of communication where 0:06:38.840,0:06:43.293 suddenly the hook goes in the heart. 0:06:43.293,0:06:45.778 It's just that kind of communication. 0:06:45.778,0:06:48.778 I'm not saying that it always leads to that. 0:06:48.778,0:06:51.029 But certainly the men that fall, 0:06:51.029,0:06:54.029 they were certainly doing things just like this. 0:06:54.029,0:06:58.441 And if we're supposed to flee from this, 0:06:58.441,0:07:01.441 we need to run from it like you'd run from 0:07:01.441,0:07:06.624 Catholicism like the plague, you need to run from these kind of things. 0:07:06.624,0:07:08.529 We need to be very careful. 0:07:08.529,0:07:11.529 Because the moment we get presumptuous and say, 0:07:11.529,0:07:15.338 "Well, I can play with that fire and it's not going to burn me," 0:07:15.338,0:07:17.244 that's the second God - 0:07:17.244,0:07:21.424 you may even be a true child of God, and God may 0:07:21.424,0:07:26.646 allow you, like David, to fall flat on your face, 0:07:26.646,0:07:29.539 and it can just destroy your life, your marriage, 0:07:29.539,0:07:33.230 your family, your ministry for sure.