[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:08.82,0:00:10.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So what is empathy?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:10.96,0:00:14.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And why is it very different than sympathy?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:14.37,0:00:19.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Empathy fuels connection, sympathy drives disconnection.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:19.85,0:00:31.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Empathy, it's very interesting, Teresa Wiseman is a nursing scholar who studied professions very diverse professions where empathy is relevant and came up with 4 qualities of empathy.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.48,0:00:38.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Perspective Taking, the ability to take the perspective of another person or recognize their perspective as their truth.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:38.11,0:00:42.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Staying Out of Judgement, not easy, when you enjoy it as much as most of us do.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.82,0:00:47.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Recognizing Emotion in Other People, and then communicating that.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.67,0:00:51.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Empathy...is feeling WITH people.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:51.43,0:00:55.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And to me, I always think of empathy as this kind of sacred space.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:55.85,0:01:01.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When someone's kind of in a deep hole, and they shout out from the bottom, and they say,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:01.00,0:01:03.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm stuck, it's dark, I'm overwhelmed,"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:03.86,0:01:06.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then, we look and we say,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:06.19,0:01:11.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Hey...I'm down... I know what it's like down here. And you're not alone."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.68,0:01:13.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sympathy is...
Dialogue: 0,0:01:13.72,0:01:15.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oooh!"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.10,0:01:17.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"It's bad, uh huh..."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.90,0:01:20.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Uuuuhhhh...no."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.30,0:01:22.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"...you wanna sandwich?"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.14,0:01:23.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Umm..."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.72,0:01:33.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Empathy is a choice, and it's a vulnerable choice, because in order to connect with you, I have to connect with something in myself that knows that feeling.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.66,0:01:39.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Rarely, if ever, does an empathic response begin with, "At least".
Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.26,0:01:44.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had a... and we do it all the time.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.02,0:01:50.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because you know what, somebody just shared something with us that's incredibly painful, and we're trying to silver line-ing it.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:50.77,0:01:54.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't think that's a verb, but I'm using it as one.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.28,0:01:56.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're trying to put the silver lining around it.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:56.13,0:01:58.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, "I had a miscarrige."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.60,0:02:00.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"At least you know you can get pregnant."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.86,0:02:02.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I think my marriage is falling apart."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.75,0:02:05.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"At least you have a marriage."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.58,0:02:10.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"John's getting kicked out of school."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.87,0:02:13.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"At least Sarah is an A student."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:13.21,0:02:22.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But one of the things we do sometimes, in the face of very difficult conversations, is we try to make things better.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.15,0:02:26.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If I share something with you that's very difficult, I'd rather you say,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.06,0:02:30.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I don't even know what to say right now, I'm just so glad you told me."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:30.92,0:02:35.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because the truth is, rarely can a response make something better.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.87,0:02:38.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What makes something better is connection.