1
00:00:00,960 --> 00:00:04,616
So a while ago, I tried an experiment.

2
00:00:04,640 --> 00:00:08,080
For one year, I would say yes
to all the things that scared me.

3
00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:12,056
Anything that made me nervous,
took me out of my comfort zone,

4
00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:13,840
I forced myself to say yes to.

5
00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:16,015
Did I want to speak in public?

6
00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:17,720
No, but yes.

7
00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:20,176
Did I want to be on live TV?

8
00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:22,000
No, but yes.

9
00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:24,296
Did I want to try acting?

10
00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:27,376
No, no, no, but yes, yes, yes.

11
00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:29,456
And a crazy thing happened:

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00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:32,216
the very act of doing
the thing that scared me

13
00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:33,896
undid the fear,

14
00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:35,456
made it not scary.

15
00:00:35,480 --> 00:00:39,920
My fear of public speaking,
my social anxiety, poof, gone.

16
00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:43,576
It's amazing, the power of one word.

17
00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:45,736
"Yes" changed my life.

18
00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:47,456
"Yes" changed me.

19
00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:49,856
But there was one particular yes

20
00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:52,816
that affected my life
in the most profound way,

21
00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:54,656
in a way I never imagined,

22
00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:57,320
and it started with a question
from my toddler.

23
00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:01,736
I have these three amazing daughters,
Harper, Beckett and Emerson,

24
00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:05,256
and Emerson is a toddler who inexplicably
refers to everyone as "honey."

25
00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:07,136
as though she's a Southern waitress.

26
00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:08,376
(Laughter)

27
00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:11,216
"Honey, I'm gonna need some milk
for my sippy cup."

28
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(Laughter)

29
00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:16,136
The Southern waitress asked me
to play with her one evening

30
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when I was on my way somewhere,
and I said, "Yes."

31
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And that yes was the beginning
of a new way of life for my family.

32
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I made a vow that from now on,

33
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every time one of my children
asks me to play,

34
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no matter what I'm doing
or where I'm going,

35
00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:33,520
I say yes, every single time.

36
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Almost. I'm not perfect at it,
but I try hard to practice it.

37
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And it's had a magical effect on me,

38
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on my children, on our family.

39
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But it's also had a stunning side effect,

40
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and it wasn't until recently
that I fully understood it,

41
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that I understood that saying yes
to playing with my children

42
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:55,840
likely saved my career.

43
00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:59,896
See, I have what most people
would call a dream job.

44
00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:02,696
I'm a writer. I imagine.
I make stuff up for a living.

45
00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:04,176
Dream job.

46
00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:05,536
No.

47
00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:06,760
I'm a titan.

48
00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:08,656
Dream job.

49
00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:11,136
I create television.
I executive produce television.

50
00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:14,256
I make television,
a great deal of television.

51
00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:16,136
In one way or another, this TV season,

52
00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:19,696
I'm responsible for bringing about
70 hours of programming to the world.

53
00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:21,776
Four television programs,
70 hours of TV --

54
00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:22,816
(Applause)

55
00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:25,296
Three shows in production
at a time, sometimes four.

56
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Each show creates hundreds of jobs
that didn't exist before.

57
00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:30,936
The budget for one episode
of network television

58
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can be anywhere
from three to six million dollars.

59
00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:34,616
Let's just say five.

60
00:02:34,640 --> 00:02:37,096
A new episode made every nine days
times four shows,

61
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so every nine days that's
20 million dollars worth of television,

62
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four television programs, 70 hours of TV,

63
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three shows in production at a time,
sometimes four,

64
00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:46,376
16 episodes going on at all times:

65
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,776
24 episodes of "Grey's,"
21 episodes of "Scandal,"

66
00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:51,056
15 episodes of
"How To Get Away With Murder,"

67
00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:53,456
10 episodes of "The Catch,"
that's 70 hours of TV,

68
00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:55,416
that's 350 million dollars for a season.

69
00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:56,976
In America, my television shows

70
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:59,016
are back to back to back
on Thursday night.

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00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:02,816
Around the world, my shows air
in 256 territories in 67 languages

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for an audience of 30 million people.

73
00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:06,360
My brain is global,

74
00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:10,216
and 45 hours of that 70 hours of TV
are shows I personally created

75
00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:12,696
and not just produced,
so on top of everything else,

76
00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:16,256
I need to find time,
real quiet, creative time,

77
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to gather my fans around the campfire

78
00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:19,720
and tell my stories.

79
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Four television programs, 70 hours of TV,

80
00:03:22,137 --> 00:03:23,856
three shows in production at a time,

81
00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:27,920
sometimes four, 350 million dollars,
campfires burning all over the world.

82
00:03:28,640 --> 00:03:30,200
You know who else is doing that?

83
00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:33,536
Nobody, so like I said, I'm a titan.

84
00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:34,816
Dream job.

85
00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:36,056
(Applause)

86
00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:38,336
Now, I don't tell you this to impress you.

87
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I tell you this because I know what you
think of when you hear the word "writer."

88
00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:45,425
I tell you this so that all of you
out there who work so hard,

89
00:03:45,449 --> 00:03:48,856
whether you run a company
or a country or a classroom

90
00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:51,376
or a store or a home,

91
00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:54,096
take me seriously
when I talk about working,

92
00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:58,096
so you'll get that I don't
peck at a computer and imagine all day,

93
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so you'll hear me when I say

94
00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:03,520
that I understand that a dream job
is not about dreaming.

95
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:09,416
It's all job, all work, all reality,
all blood, all sweat, no tears.

96
00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:13,240
I work a lot, very hard, and I love it.

97
00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:16,176
When I'm hard at work,
when I'm deep in it,

98
00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:18,696
there is no other feeling.

99
00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:22,176
For me, my work is at all times
building a nation out of thin air.

100
00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:24,976
It is manning the troops.
It is painting a canvas.

101
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:27,656
It is hitting every high note.
It is running a marathon.

102
00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:29,296
It is being Beyoncé.

103
00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:32,240
And it is all of those things
at the same time.

104
00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:34,576
I love working.

105
00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:37,656
It is creative and mechanical
and exhausting and exhilarating

106
00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:40,256
and hilarious and disturbing
and clinical and maternal

107
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,656
and cruel and judicious,

108
00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:44,760
and what makes it all so good is the hum.

109
00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:48,856
There is some kind of shift inside me
when the work gets good.

110
00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:50,776
A hum begins in my brain,

111
00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:54,496
and it grows and it grows
and that hum sounds like the open road,

112
00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:56,520
and I could drive it forever.

113
00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:59,781
And a lot of people,
when I try to explain the hum,

114
00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:02,736
they assume that I'm talking
about the writing,

115
00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:04,216
that my writing brings me joy.

116
00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:06,560
And don't get me wrong, it does.

117
00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:08,600
But the hum --

118
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it wasn't until I started
making television

119
00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:13,896
that I started working, working and making

120
00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:16,536
and building and creating
and collaborating,

121
00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:21,000
that I discovered this thing,
this buzz, this rush, this hum.

122
00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:23,816
The hum is more than writing.

123
00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:27,096
The hum is action and activity.
The hum is a drug.

124
00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:29,736
The hum is music.
The hum is light and air.

125
00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:33,120
The hum is God's whisper right in my ear.

126
00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:35,400
And when you have a hum like that,

127
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you can't help but strive for greatness.

128
00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:43,280
That feeling, you can't help
but strive for greatness at any cost.

129
00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:45,320
That's called the hum.

130
00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:49,696
Or, maybe it's called being a workaholic.

131
00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:51,376
(Laughter)

132
00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:53,200
Maybe it's called genius.

133
00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:55,800
Maybe it's called ego.

134
00:05:56,520 --> 00:05:58,760
Maybe it's just fear of failure.

135
00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:01,296
I don't know.

136
00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:05,136
I just know that
I'm not built for failure,

137
00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:07,000
and I just know that I love the hum.

138
00:06:07,840 --> 00:06:10,096
I just know that I want
to tell you I'm a titan,

139
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:12,576
and I know that
I don't want to question it.

140
00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:13,800
But here's the thing:

141
00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:16,896
the more successful I become,

142
00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:20,536
the more shows, the more episodes,
the more barriers broken,

143
00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:22,040
the more work there is to do,

144
00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:24,016
the more balls in the air,

145
00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:26,936
the more eyes on me,
the more history stares,

146
00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:28,720
the more expectations there are.

147
00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:31,376
The more I work to be successful,

148
00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:32,760
the more I need to work.

149
00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:35,656
And what did I say about work?

150
00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:37,000
I love working, right?

151
00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:40,016
The nation I'm building,
the marathon I'm running,

152
00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:42,256
the troops, the canvas,
the high note, the hum,

153
00:06:42,280 --> 00:06:44,136
the hum, the hum.

154
00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:46,216
I like that hum. I love that hum.

155
00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:49,040
I need that hum. I am that hum.

156
00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:51,600
Am I nothing but that hum?

157
00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:54,760
And then the hum stopped.

158
00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:58,096
Overworked, overused,

159
00:06:58,120 --> 00:06:59,416
overdone, burned out.

160
00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:01,640
The hum stopped.

161
00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:05,656
Now, my three daughters
are used to the truth

162
00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:07,800
that their mother
is a single working titan.

163
00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:09,776
Harper tells people,

164
00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:12,640
"My mom won't be there,
but you can text my nanny."

165
00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:16,760
And Emerson says, "Honey,
I'm wanting to go to ShondaLand."

166
00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:19,056
They're children of a titan.

167
00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:20,880
They're baby titans.

168
00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:24,800
They were 12, 3, and 1
when the hum stopped.

169
00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:27,160
The hum of the engine died.

170
00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:30,296
I stopped loving work.
I couldn't restart the engine.

171
00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:32,296
The hum would not come back.

172
00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:34,640
My hum was broken.

173
00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:39,296
I was doing the same things
I always did, all the same titan work,

174
00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:41,776
15-hour days, working
straight through the weekends,

175
00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:45,136
no regrets, never surrender,
a titan never sleeps, a titan never quits,

176
00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:47,360
full hearts, clear eyes, yada, whatever.

177
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:49,520
But there was no hum.

178
00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:52,600
Inside me was silence.

179
00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:57,776
Four television programs, 70 hours of TV,
three shows in production at a time,

180
00:07:57,800 --> 00:07:59,016
sometimes four.

181
00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:02,856
Four television programs, 70 hours of TV,
three shows in production at a time ...

182
00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:04,976
I was the perfect titan.

183
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,320
I was a titan you could
take home to your mother.

184
00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:12,080
All the colors were the same,
and I was no longer having any fun.

185
00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:13,880
And it was my life.

186
00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:16,136
It was all I did.

187
00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:18,880
I was the hum, and the hum was me.

188
00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:22,216
So what do you do when the thing you do,

189
00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:24,920
the work you love,
starts to taste like dust?

190
00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:27,936
Now, I know somebody's out there thinking,

191
00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:30,336
"Cry me a river,
stupid writer titan lady."

192
00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:32,135
(Laughter)

193
00:08:32,159 --> 00:08:34,216
But you know, you do,

194
00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:37,015
if you make, if you work,
if you love what you do,

195
00:08:37,039 --> 00:08:40,096
being a teacher, being a banker,
being a mother, being a painter,

196
00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:41,336
being Bill Gates,

197
00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:44,696
if you simply love another person
and that gives you the hum,

198
00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:46,296
if you know the hum,

199
00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:50,336
if you know what the hum feels like,
if you have been to the hum,

200
00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:53,400
when the hum stops, who are you?

201
00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:55,840
What are you?

202
00:08:56,760 --> 00:08:58,176
What am I?

203
00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:00,080
Am I still a titan?

204
00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:05,840
If the song of my heart ceases to play,
can I survive in the silence?

205
00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:11,080
And then my Southern waitress toddler
asks me a question.

206
00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:15,816
I'm on my way out the door,
I'm late, and she says,

207
00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:18,120
"Momma, wanna play?"

208
00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:22,216
And I'm just about to say no,
when I realize two things.

209
00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:24,840
One, I'm supposed
to say yes to everything,

210
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:28,680
and two, my Southern waitress
didn't call me "honey."

211
00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:31,840
She's not calling everyone
"honey" anymore.

212
00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:34,336
When did that happen?

213
00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:36,816
I'm missing it, being a titan
and mourning my hum,

214
00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:39,760
and here she is changing
right before my eyes.

215
00:09:40,440 --> 00:09:43,520
And so she says, "Momma, wanna play?"

216
00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:45,240
And I say, "Yes."

217
00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:48,576
There's nothing special about it.

218
00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:51,296
We play, and we're joined by her sisters,

219
00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:52,776
and there's a lot of laughing,

220
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:56,416
and I give a dramatic reading
from the book Everybody Poops.

221
00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:57,816
Nothing out of the ordinary.

222
00:09:57,840 --> 00:09:58,936
(Laughter)

223
00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:01,136
And yet, it is extraordinary,

224
00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:03,656
because in my pain and my panic,

225
00:10:03,680 --> 00:10:05,736
in the homelessness of my humlessness,

226
00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:08,320
I have nothing to do but pay attention.

227
00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:10,176
I focus.

228
00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:11,400
I am still.

229
00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:14,536
The nation I'm building,
the marathon I'm running,

230
00:10:14,560 --> 00:10:17,520
the troops, the canvas,
the high note does not exist.

231
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,336
All that exists are sticky fingers

232
00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:23,696
and gooey kisses
and tiny voices and crayons

233
00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:25,296
and that song about letting go

234
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:28,336
of whatever it is that Frozen girl
needs to let go of.

235
00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:30,296
(Laughter)

236
00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:32,480
It's all peace and simplicity.

237
00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:38,096
The air is so rare in this place for me
that I can barely breathe.

238
00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:40,280
I can barely believe I'm breathing.

239
00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:43,600
Play is the opposite of work.

240
00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:45,920
And I am happy.

241
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:48,056
Something in me loosens.

242
00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:50,400
A door in my brain swings open,

243
00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:52,816
and a rush of energy comes.

244
00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:57,096
And it's not instantaneous,
but it happens, it does happen.

245
00:10:57,120 --> 00:10:58,320
I feel it.

246
00:10:58,640 --> 00:10:59,920
A hum creeps back.

247
00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:03,176
Not at full volume, barely there,

248
00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:06,496
it's quiet, and I have to stay
very still to hear it, but it is there.

249
00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:09,240
Not the hum, but a hum.

250
00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:13,040
And now I feel like I know
a very magical secret.

251
00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:16,296
Well, let's not get carried away.

252
00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:19,400
It's just love. That's all it is.

253
00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:23,360
No magic. No secret. It's just love.

254
00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:25,640
It's just something we forgot.

255
00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:30,056
The hum, the work hum,
the hum of the titan,

256
00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:31,440
that's just a replacement.

257
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:34,376
If I have to ask you who I am,

258
00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:36,336
if I have to tell you who I am,

259
00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:38,816
if I describe myself in terms of shows

260
00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:43,096
and hours of television
and how globally badass my brain is,

261
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:46,040
I have forgotten what the real hum is.

262
00:11:46,680 --> 00:11:50,400
The hum is not power
and the hum is not work-specific.

263
00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:52,440
The hum is joy-specific.

264
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,296
The real hum is love-specific.

265
00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:58,976
The hum is the electricity
that comes from being excited by life.

266
00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:01,736
The real hum is confidence and peace.

267
00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:04,256
The real hum ignores the stare of history,

268
00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:07,296
and the balls in the air,
and the expectation, and the pressure.

269
00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:09,880
The real hum is singular and original.

270
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,536
The real hum is God's whisper in my ear,

271
00:12:12,560 --> 00:12:14,936
but maybe God was whispering
the wrong words,

272
00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:17,818
because which one of the gods
was telling me I was the titan?

273
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:20,000
It's just love.

274
00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:23,896
We could all use a little more love,

275
00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:25,280
a lot more love.

276
00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:28,440
Any time my child asks me to play,

277
00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:30,240
I will say yes.

278
00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:33,136
I make it a firm rule for one reason,

279
00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:34,416
to give myself permission,

280
00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:36,720
to free me from all
of my workaholic guilt.

281
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,536
It's a law, so I don't have a choice,

282
00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:41,696
and I don't have a choice,

283
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,280
not if I want to feel the hum.

284
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,736
I wish it were that easy,

285
00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:49,336
but I'm not good at playing.

286
00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:50,920
I don't like it.

287
00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:56,800
I'm not interested in doing it
the way I'm interested in doing work.

288
00:12:57,400 --> 00:13:00,656
The truth is incredibly humbling
and humiliating to face.

289
00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:02,416
I don't like playing.

290
00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:05,216
I work all the time
because I like working.

291
00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:09,120
I like working more
than I like being at home.

292
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:13,760
Facing that fact
is incredibly difficult to handle,

293
00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:20,720
because what kind of person
likes working more than being at home?

294
00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:23,360
Well, me.

295
00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:27,176
I mean, let's be honest,
I call myself a titan.

296
00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:28,576
I've got issues.

297
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:30,216
(Laughter)

298
00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:33,256
And one of those issues
isn't that I am too relaxed.

299
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:35,376
(Laughter)

300
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:39,080
We run around the yard,
up and back and up and back.

301
00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:42,176
We have 30-second dance parties.

302
00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:44,760
We sing show tunes. We play with balls.

303
00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:47,336
I blow bubbles and they pop them.

304
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:52,320
And I feel stiff and delirious
and confused most of the time.

305
00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:55,480
I itch for my cell phone always.

306
00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:57,896
But it is OK.

307
00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:02,776
My tiny humans show me how to live
and the hum of the universe fills me up.

308
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:05,776
I play and I play until I begin to wonder

309
00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:08,800
why we ever stop playing
in the first place.

310
00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:10,760
You can do it too,

311
00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:14,400
say yes every time
your child asks you to play.

312
00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:18,496
Are you thinking that maybe
I'm an idiot in diamond shoes?

313
00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:21,336
You're right, but you can still do this.

314
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,016
You have time.

315
00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:26,776
You know why? Because you're not Rihanna
and you're not a Muppet.

316
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:29,176
Your child does not think
you're that interesting.

317
00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:30,336
(Laughter)

318
00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:32,336
You only need 15 minutes.

319
00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:35,136
My two- and four-year-old
only ever want to play with me

320
00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:36,576
for about 15 minutes or so

321
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:39,616
before they think to themselves
they want to do something else.

322
00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:43,216
It's an amazing 15 minutes,
but it's 15 minutes.

323
00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:47,216
If I'm not a ladybug or a piece of candy,
I'm invisible after 15 minutes.

324
00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:48,256
(Laughter)

325
00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:53,016
And my 13-year-old, if I can get
a 13-year-old to talk to me for 15 minutes

326
00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:54,376
I'm Parent of the Year.

327
00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:56,056
(Laughter)

328
00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:57,816
15 minutes is all you need.

329
00:14:57,840 --> 00:15:02,480
I can totally pull off 15 minutes
of uninterrupted time on my worst day.

330
00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:05,216
Uninterrupted is the key.

331
00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:08,136
No cell phone, no laundry, no anything.

332
00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:10,896
You have a busy life.
You have to get dinner on the table.

333
00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:14,056
You have to force them to bathe.
But you can do 15 minutes.

334
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:16,496
My kids are my happy place,
they're my world,

335
00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:19,016
but it doesn't have to be your kids,

336
00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:20,456
the fuel that feeds your hum,

337
00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:23,136
the place where life
feels more good than not good.

338
00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:25,656
It's not about playing with your kids,

339
00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:26,936
it's about joy.

340
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:29,320
It's about playing in general.

341
00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:32,096
Give yourself the 15 minutes.

342
00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:34,296
Find what makes you feel good.

343
00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:37,600
Just figure it out and play in that arena.

344
00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:43,096
I'm not perfect at it.
In fact, I fail as often as I succeed,

345
00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:45,960
seeing friends, reading books,
staring into space.

346
00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:49,696
"Wanna play?" starts to become shorthand
for indulging myself

347
00:15:49,720 --> 00:15:53,936
in ways I'd given up on right around
the time I got my first TV show,

348
00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:56,696
right around the time
I became a titan-in-training,

349
00:15:56,720 --> 00:16:00,120
right around the time I started
competing with myself for ways unknown.

350
00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:04,736
15 minutes? What could be wrong
with giving myself my full attention

351
00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:06,080
for 15 minutes?

352
00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:08,360
Turns out, nothing.

353
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:13,016
The very act of not working has made it
possible for the hum to return,

354
00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:16,480
as if the hum's engine
could only refuel while I was away.

355
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:20,120
Work doesn't work without play.

356
00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:24,040
It takes a little time,
but after a few months,

357
00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:26,216
one day the floodgates open

358
00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:29,616
and there's a rush, and I find myself
standing in my office

359
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:33,736
filled with an unfamiliar melody,
full on groove inside me,

360
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:36,536
and around me, and it sends me
spinning with ideas,

361
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:39,616
and the humming road is open,
and I can drive it and drive it,

362
00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:41,400
and I love working again.

363
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:45,736
But now, I like that hum,
but I don't love that hum.

364
00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:47,016
I don't need that hum.

365
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:50,216
I am not that hum. That hum is not me,

366
00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:51,440
not anymore.

367
00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:55,736
I am bubbles and sticky fingers
and dinners with friends.

368
00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:56,960
I am that hum.

369
00:16:57,400 --> 00:16:58,736
Life's hum.

370
00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:00,056
Love's hum.

371
00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:04,319
Work's hum is still a piece of me,
it is just no longer all of me,

372
00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:06,400
and I am so grateful.

373
00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:09,296
And I don't give a crap
about being a titan,

374
00:17:09,319 --> 00:17:12,480
because I have never once seen a titan
play Red Rover, Red Rover.

375
00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:18,175
I said yes to less work and more play,
and somehow I still run my world.

376
00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:21,160
My brain is still global.
My campfires still burn.

377
00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:25,359
The more I play, the happier I am,
and the happier my kids are.

378
00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:29,176
The more I play,
the more I feel like a good mother.

379
00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:31,656
The more I play,
the freer my mind becomes.

380
00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:33,576
The more I play, the better I work.

381
00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:36,096
The more I play, the more I feel the hum,

382
00:17:36,120 --> 00:17:38,496
the nation I'm building,
the marathon I'm running,

383
00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:41,140
the troops, the canvas,
the high note, the hum, the hum,

384
00:17:41,164 --> 00:17:43,564
the other hum, the real hum,

385
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:45,456
life's hum.

386
00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:46,736
The more I feel that hum,

387
00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:50,296
the more this strange,
quivering, uncocooned,

388
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:51,656
awkward, brand new,

389
00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:54,200
alive non-titan feels like me.

390
00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:58,000
The more I feel that hum,
the more I know who I am.

391
00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:01,680
I'm a writer, I make stuff up, I imagine.

392
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:05,256
That part of the job,
that's living the dream.

393
00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:07,360
That's the dream of the job.

394
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:10,880
Because a dream job
should be a little bit dreamy.

395
00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:14,760
I said yes to less work and more play.

396
00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:17,360
Titans need not apply.

397
00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:19,360
Wanna play?

398
00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:21,176
Thank you.

399
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:30,880
(Applause)