WEBVTT

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…meditation retreat joke.

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There's this person, he’s been
on a meditation retreat for nine days.

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And you do actually find
that people do actually slow down.

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You walk very 
slowly, you talk very slowly.

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Can you get much more
mindful even picking things up?

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You pick it up and
you notice all these amazing sensations

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when you pick things up
or you put it down again.

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You do things very slowly.

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So after the nine day 
retreat fella went back to work,

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and he was working in Perth Zoo.

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And so when the head keeper saw him,

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you know, coming to 
work walking very slowly

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and mindfully, he thought ‘’What
am I going to do with this guy today?’’.

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And so he thought
he had this brilliant idea.

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He said ‘’I know! I'm gonna put you
in charge of the tortoise enclosure.’’

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(laughter)

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Obviously because
tortoises go really slowly.

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So if you’ve been 
on a meditation retreat,

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if you're working at a zoo
that's the best thing to do,

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you know – look after the tortoises.

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So he told the head keeper ‘’Yes.
I. Will. Look. After. The. Tortoises.’’.

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And he walked very slowly
and mindfully to the tortoise enclosure

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And at lunch time the
head keeper decided to check up on him.

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And there he was, in front of
the tortoise enclosure, with the gate open

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and all the tortoises had escaped.

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(laughter)

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When the head keeper asked
“What happened??”

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‘’Well.’’ said the meditator, ‘’I.
Opened. The. Gate. And. Whoosh!”.

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(laughter)

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That's an old meditation teacher’s joke.

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(laughter)

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Because when you
really go slow even tortoises whoosh!

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(laughter)

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So anyway…