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…meditation retreat joke.

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There's this person, he’s been[br]on a meditation retreat for nine days.

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And you do actually find[br]that people do actually slow down.

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You walk very [br]slowly, you talk very slowly.

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Can you get much more[br]mindful even picking things up?

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You pick it up and[br]you notice all these amazing sensations

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when you pick things up[br]or you put it down again.

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You do things very slowly.

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So after the nine day [br]retreat fella went back to work,

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and he was working in Perth Zoo.

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And so when the head keeper saw him,

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you know, coming to [br]work walking very slowly

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and mindfully, he thought ‘’What[br]am I going to do with this guy today?’’.

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And so he thought[br]he had this brilliant idea.

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He said ‘’I know! I'm gonna put you[br]in charge of the tortoise enclosure.’’

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(laughter)

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Obviously because[br]tortoises go really slowly.

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So if you’ve been [br]on a meditation retreat,

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if you're working at a zoo[br]that's the best thing to do,

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you know – look after the tortoises.

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So he told the head keeper ‘’Yes.[br]I. Will. Look. After. The. Tortoises.’’.

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And he walked very slowly[br]and mindfully to the tortoise enclosure

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And at lunch time the[br]head keeper decided to check up on him.

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And there he was, in front of[br]the tortoise enclosure, with the gate open

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and all the tortoises had escaped.

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(laughter)

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When the head keeper asked[br]“What happened??”

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‘’Well.’’ said the meditator, ‘’I.[br]Opened. The. Gate. And. Whoosh!”.

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(laughter)

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That's an old meditation teacher’s joke.

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(laughter)

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Because when you[br]really go slow even tortoises whoosh!

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(laughter)

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So anyway…