(Beep)
(Screaming)
(Jazzy intro)
How does it feel to be the
same sex as
Donald Trump?
How does it feel to be the
same sex as
Sarah Palin?
How does it feel to be the
same sex as
Michelle Bachman?
How does it feel to be the
Same sex as anybody
you disagree with?
Why does it even matter
whether or not you’re the
same gender as somebody else?
I mean, I’m also the same
gender as Abraham Lincoln, Einstein,
and the guy who introduced
chocolate to the western world.
So what are you even getting
at with this question?
Are you trying to say Donald Trump
is bad, and Donald Trump
is a man, therefore, men are bad?
Why do you hate rom-coms?
Or do you feel like you
need to hate them?
Everybody likes The Notebook,
everybody likes Beyoncé.
It’s just a fact.
Men hate romantic comedies
for the same reason you
hate video games with
over-sexualized female characters.
The men in these movies are
always willing to sacrifice
their careers, their dreams,
even their lives to win
the lead females’ affection.
Now, I don’t have any empirical
data to back this up, but
it seems to me that
romantic comedies and
romance movies in general
cause women to have unrealistic
expectations of men and what
love should be like, and these
become the expectations
that men have to live up to.
And it’s unfair.
Feminists like to bitch
about poor representation of women
in media intended for men
because they promote body issues
and shit like that.
And I agree, to at least an extent,
but it's not any better for men.
when we’re expected to be Prince Charming;
ready and willing to sacrifice themselves
physically, mentally, and emotionally,
and we’re called selfish for daring to
have our own desires,
or even misogynistic for daring to draw
attention to our own problems.
These movies appeal to the female fantasy
of having a knight in shining armor
swear their entire existence to pleasing them,
and thus reinforce these notions within
their target audience of women like you
that you somehow deserve and should expect
to have your boyfriends and husbands
give up everything that makes them who they are
and basically dehumanize themselves
for your pleasure and devote 100%
of their time and energy to you.
The fact that some of you watching
this are scoffing at what I just
said only proves my point.
You have fooled yourselves into
thinking that I'M somehow the one
who's being selfish when I object to
the notion that men should be expected
to cave into all of your demands
for the sake of your perverted,
idealistic conception of love, and I
have no doubts that some of you will
accuse me of being bitter at some ex-girlfriend
for saying that, but I'm not,
and I will pre-emptively characterize
such an argument as out-cropping of
the very mentality that I'm talking about.
You expect all of your demands to be
catered to,
and any man who is unwilling
or unable to cater to them must
have something wrong with THEM.
Us men are human beings with
our own interests and goals, and it's
selfish for you to expect us to give all
that up for you. But these movies condition
you to expect exactly that, and that is
why we hate romantic comedies. We don't see
anything romantic about them. What we see
is the reinforcement of unfair
and unreasonable expectations about what we
should be doing with our own lives.
Also, f*** Beyonce.
Why do you make women sit around
and talk about men in movies,
when ya'll easily just sit around and
talk about boobs, for HOURS?
One: I don't know. Maybe you
should be asking the
people who write the romantic comedies
you like so much, because those
are the movies which have
women sitting around, talking about
men. Or better yet,
instead of complaining
about how writers depict women
in their movies, maybe you should
try being the change you
want to see, and write your
own damn movie. Then, you could
make the females characters sit around
and talk about whatever you want,
like how men are oppressing them,
or how men are objectifying them,
or how men are such pigs, or
how men spread their legs too far
apart on the subway, or how
men hate romantic comedies.
There's nothing stopping you.
Two: You're referring to the
Bechdel test, which is bulls**t.
All the Twilight movies pass
the Bechdel test, but I think you'd
hesitate to call any of those movies
pro-feminist.
Three: I don't know a single guy
who ever talks about boobs for hours
at a time. I think the only guys who do
are medical students learning how
to conduct mammograms.
You want to know what most of the men
I know talk about? Movies,
video games, politics, religion,
music, sports, cars, boats,
technology, work, guns, hunting,
places they've been to,
people they've met, and so on.
The subject of boobs actually
rarely ever comes up.
Contrary to what you may have
been told in your Women's Studies
class, men don't think
about sex constantly. If we did,
we would never have invented
the camera equipment you used
to make this video.
Four: If anybody is talking about
boobs for hours at a time, it's
feminists. You're the ones who
are always whining about the designs
of fictional characters, complaining
that Batgirl's tits are too big.
In all honesty, the only
time I ever even think about
a comic book character's tits is
when I hear a feminist bring it up,
so I think, maybe, you're projecting.
Why do you automatically assume
that you won't like TV or movies
that star a female lead?
We don't. In fact, some of my
favorite movies and TV shows
have female leads. I don't know a
single man who has ever scoffed at
the notion of watching a movie
or TV show just because it has
a female protagonist. However,
I have seen feminists scoff
at anything with a male lead.
Why are you surprised when women
are funny?
I'm probably funnier
than you!
I'm not surprised when women are funny.
There are plenty of funny women out
there; Shoe0nHead, etc.
But, I will say that women in general
are not as funny as men, and I
think most women will agree with
that statement. I also think
there's a reason for this. See,
if you understand what humor is
and how it works, which I'm guessing
you don't, because you're feminists, then
you know that the things that make people
laugh often have their roots in very dark
subject matter. To quote "The Amazing Atheist,"
"These people who are f***ing offended
by rape jokes don't even understand humor!
They don't under- they think that humor is
like, a happy thing, because humor makes
us laugh, and laughter makes us happy!
But a lot of the times, they don't seem to
notice that what we're actually laughing at
is quite dark and morbid. Like, if you
actually look at it and examine the jokes,
and look at the exaggeration and try to figure
out the mechanics of how the joke works,
why does it work, you're gonna find that
a lot of jokes have their Genesis in
pain and suffering. Because laughter
is this great, transcendent tool we have
where we can take something that's-
that's bitter and difficult to comprehend
or deal with, and make it something funny.
Like if I take a joke like 'how many police
officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just beat the room for
being black,' you know, that joke
has its genesis in some very serious,
very dark s***, and that joke is not making
light of the fact that people have suffered,
or its not making light of the fact that
people, you know, marched in the
Civil Rights Movement, or that people
are racially discriminated against, or
police brutality- it's not making light
of any of that. What it's doing is
it's taking that pain, and it's taking
that dark subject matter, and it's
helping us transcend it for a moment,
and view the absurdity of our circumstance
because that is what humor is supposed
to do. Humor at its best takes
the elements of the world that are
dark and horrible and shows your their
obsurdity. It shows you the absurdity
of the human condition, and that is
important."
See, men are socially conditioned to
not talk openly and honestly about their
feelings, which I will talk
more about later, and that's why
we cultivate a sense of humor.
The only way we can really talk
about the things that upset us is if
we do it through the filter
of comedy, but women have the
privilege to not be subject to such
social conditioning, and so they
don't feel the need to cultivate
a sense of humor, and that's why women,
in general, aren't as funny as men.
That isn't to say that all men are funny,
or that all women are unfunny. It's
just that, in general, men are
funnier than women. I'm sorry,
but that's how it is. Also, no.
I rather strongly doubt that
you're funnier than me, and it's not
because you're a woman. Just judging
by how you look and talk, I'm willing to
bet that your sense of humor
boils down to saying something
rude, and then following it
with "just kidding." I mean,
I'm not the funniest person in
the world, but if you think of yourself
as "the funny one," you probably lack
the objectivity to realize that
everybody else in your circle of
friends probably thinks
of you as the annoying one.
Just kidding! Actually, I'm not.
Why do you think that we're
obsessed with you when we
hook up? Nine times out of ten,
I just want you to leave too; I'm busy,
I got s*** to do.
Probably because you do s***
like text us 50 times in the space
of one hour and slash our tires
when we dump you after
you accuse us of cheating
because you saw our sister's name
in our call history. Also,
what s*** could you possibly have
to do, pluck your eyebrows to the
point where they're so unnaturally
clean around the edges that
they look like they're drawn on?
Spend your husband's money on more
frumpy sweaters? Buy a tub of
Ben and Jerry's and watch Glee?
Or write more lame questions
for men to answer because you're
so lacking in self-awareness that you
can't figure out the answers for
yourself?
Why can't I sleep with as many
people as I want to without
being judged?
When men do it, they're congratulated.
Go ahead and sleep with as
many people as you want.
I don't give a s***, and,
once again, I don't know anybody
who would. The only time I would
care is if I was dating you,
because if you told me you've been
with 20 other guys before
I met you, I would naturally assume
that there's something wrong
with you if you've been in so
many relationships
and had them all fail.
Not to mention the fact that you're
substaintially more likely to be carrying
an STD, and I think it's perfectly
reasonable for a woman to view men
who have slept with a lot of other women
the same way.