WEBVTT

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You've never seen a body

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quite the same as that of Houdini

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slippery like linguini

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sneaking outta teeny weenie little

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spaces small enough

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to fit your talent David

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you're not a challenge David

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your biggest endowment's

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your bank account balances baby

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so abracadabra you billowy bitch

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man you look like a pirate

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on the Las Vegas strip

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I'm swallowing needles and spitting out evil

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you couldn't escape from a flash paper bag

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I'm badder with patter and matter of fact

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you can't match all my skill

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if you sawed me in half

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When I was a child

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you were a god to me

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I had to do what you do

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now you're like a Chinese wall to me

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bitch I'll walk right through you

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this ain't the magic that you're used to

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I float a rose hands free

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like it's Bluetooth

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my grand illusions

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make your parlor tricks irrelevant

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the foot of lady liberty

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is stomping on your elephant

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you failed at making movies

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and you failed at making kids

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you should stick to what you're good at

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and lock them lips

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here's a tidbit that might drive you nuts

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I bought half your shit

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and I keep it locked up

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got the slim fingers that were built for slights

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you're a chunky stuntman dressed in tights

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you talk shit about your hero

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that ain't right

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but you can look up to me now

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I know you like heights

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Your hack of a Bob Saget-y act

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is embarassing

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you're the saddest thing to happen

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to Magic since The Gathering

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I'm hanging by my ankles

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from a crane I dangle

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I got lox on my bagel

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that you couldn't handle

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smash your mirrors

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leave your flying wires tangled

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and you can't hide shame

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with a camera angle

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did somebody say Angel?

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No

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Oh

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See what they'd be watching

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if it wasn't for me?

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I remind the world that magic

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is supposed to make you happy

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while you waste time

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proving everybody wrong

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I'm backstage getting my

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supermodel groove on

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you should relax take a private trip

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to my private island

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suck my private dick

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I'll summon up a little Halloween brunch

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deep fried sucker

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with a side of punch

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Who won?

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Who's next?

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You decide