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I would like to ask everyone
in this beautiful, beautiful audience,

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just like he said,

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When and have you ever -

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think back to your childhood -

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have you ever been taught formally
how to pay attention?

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I'm talking somebody sat you down, said,

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"Step 1. Step 2. Step 3.

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This is how you pay attention."

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I'd like a show of hands

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if you who were formally taught
how to pay attention

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when you were a child.

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(Laughter)

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Now, for those of you who are wondering,

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What in the world did he just say?

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and who are thinking
about who's the next presenter

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or did I actually put deodorant on today?

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(Laughter)

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You're like me.

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As you can see.

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You are like me.

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Oh my goodness.

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I struggled and I still struggle
with paying attention.

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And I tell you what,

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I'm going to take you back
to that elementary school era.

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Do you remember the coat closet?

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This time of year,
everybody's got their coats,

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and you've got all your cubbies

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and the things you brought to school
you're not allowed to bring into class.

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One day, my teacher
thought it was a good idea -

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one of those days I'm out in la-la land:

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"Chris, Chris."

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She took me and brought me
into that coat closet and said,

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"I think you'll pay attention
better in here."

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And she closed the door behind me,

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and I went, looked around,
I said, "Oh, yeah."

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I took all those coats,
and I threw them all on the floor -

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big pile, big pile.

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And I took the diddle sheets,
laid them down,

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and I fell asleep right on top of them,

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and I just lay there,

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and I feel asleep for three hours -

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the teacher forgot about me.

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(Laughter)

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And she opens the door, and I wake up,

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and my first thing was like,

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"Yeah. I slept through school!

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That's awesome."

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And then I head out, all happy, you know,

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and then I get my friends
looking at me, going,

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"Dude, what were you doing in there, man?"

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(Laughter)

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"What? I ... "

53
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and then it turned
to "What's wrong with me?"

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I was the kid in the coat closet, man.

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Ah, man.

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And then you fast forward
a few more years.

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Picture this: a classroom,

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beautiful tables all lined up,

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and here is this 1970-style study carrel,

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back in the corner, orange.

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Big circular, cool,
'70s-style kind of thing.

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There was a little window
where you could peek out.

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Well, that's where they put me.

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And I was sitting back there one day,

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out in la-la land.

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You put a kid like me out there,

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and I'm looking off and thinking
about space, all kinds of stuff,

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and I look over,

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and I see Big Brian,

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and Big Brian's another kid
who had trouble paying attention.

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And Big Brian's butt crack
is like, like, like fully exposed,

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and I'm thinking to myself,

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"How many spitballs can I get
down Big Brian's butt crack

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(Laughter)

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before Big Brian notices?"

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And the answer is 20.

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(Laughter)

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20.

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At 20, Big Brian
jumped up and said, "Hey!"

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And my teacher grabbed me by the neck
and took me into the hallway,

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took more diddle paper sheets
and put me in the hallway,

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and in the hallway,

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I'm sitting there, going,
"Man, this is sort of cool."

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But then, yet again, the same thought:

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"What the heck's wrong with me, man?

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Why am I out here?"

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Well, I survived - oh my goodness.

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I survived hellementary -
I mean, elementary school,

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and middle school -

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oh, don't even talk about middle school.

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But here we are, high school graduation.

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High school graduation -

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I'm sitting here, in the line,

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everybody's all happy,

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I'm sweating like I am now

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because I had to get a 94
on my Spanish exam to graduate,

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and I'm siiting there, thinking,

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"Please, God,

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don't let me be the kid
in the coat closet again.

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Don't let me get the kid
that's in the study carrel.

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Oh, not this time, please."

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Well, I tell you what.

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That's why I'm standing here today.

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I'd like to propose an alternative
to putting kids in the coat closet,

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putting them in study carrels,

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and just telling them just to
plain old "You pay attention."

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I want to propose -

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because the joy of my life

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is in my therapy with children and adults
who have attentional challenges.

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I get to introduce them
to mindfulness training,

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training you how to pay attention:

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"Step 1. Step 2. Step 3.

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This is how you pay attention."

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I wish somebody would have taught me

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how to bring your mind back
from Big Brian's butt crack

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to this boring math,

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this boring stuff that makes me feel
like I want to pull my hair out.

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How do I say

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"Not now, mind.

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Look at the teacher's
funky dangle earrings,

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and then she'll think
I'm paying attention to her."

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But that helps.

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Well, I tell you what.

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My gift today to you all
is a little taste of mindfulness.

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This little taste of mindfulness
is in four steps,

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and so, in a moment,

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I'm going to take you through four steps.

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The first step is this:

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I'm going to have everyone
close their eyes.

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And the second step will be -

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I'm going to ring this chime -

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I'm going to have you focus
the best of your ability -

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I know it's tough
for some of us, like me -

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focus that down
just to the tone of that chime.

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That's it.

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The third step - if you notice
your mind wandering,

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which mine will, even when I'm up here,

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if you notice it wandering,

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gently bring it back
to that tone of the chime.

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Just gently bring it on back.

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And step four is when
you no longer can hear it,

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open your eyes and raise your hand,
and we'll take a look around.

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All right.

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Here we go.

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One. Two. Three. Eyes closed.

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(Chime tone)

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Everyone look around.

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Beautiful.

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720 people paying attention
to the same thing at the same time.

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Beautiful.

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Well, I want everyone out here

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to go spread the good news
of mindfulness training,

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and go learn about it,

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teach your children,

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introduce the challenge for yourself.

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So I want start a revolution

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because we no longer want to lose
our dreamers and discoverers and dynamos,

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but we want to foster

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our future Edisons, our Einsteins,
our Picassos, our Louisa May Alcotts

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and future great, great TED presenters.

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Thank you so much.

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(Applause)