WEBVTT 00:00:00.375 --> 00:00:02.253 [This is an improvised talk (and intro) 00:00:02.277 --> 00:00:04.393 based on a suggested topic from the audience. 00:00:04.417 --> 00:00:07.167 The speaker doesn't know the content of the slides.] NOTE Paragraph 00:00:08.167 --> 00:00:09.768 Moderator: Our next speaker -- NOTE Paragraph 00:00:09.792 --> 00:00:13.417 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:00:15.042 --> 00:00:16.292 is an -- 00:00:18.625 --> 00:00:19.917 incredibly -- NOTE Paragraph 00:00:22.958 --> 00:00:24.559 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:00:24.583 --> 00:00:27.684 Is an incredibly experienced linguist 00:00:27.708 --> 00:00:31.476 working at a lab at MIT with a small group of researchers, 00:00:31.500 --> 00:00:33.893 and through studying our language 00:00:33.917 --> 00:00:36.309 and the way that we communicate with other people, 00:00:36.333 --> 00:00:40.101 he has stumbled upon the secret of human intimacy. 00:00:40.125 --> 00:00:43.018 Here to give us his perspective, please welcome to the stage, 00:00:43.042 --> 00:00:44.351 Anthony Veneziale. NOTE Paragraph 00:00:44.375 --> 00:00:47.083 (Applause) NOTE Paragraph 00:00:53.375 --> 00:00:57.042 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:00:58.917 --> 00:01:02.643 Anthony Veneziale: You might think I know what you're going through. 00:01:02.667 --> 00:01:05.434 You might be looking at me here on the red dot, 00:01:05.458 --> 00:01:08.726 or you might be looking at me on the screen. 00:01:08.750 --> 00:01:12.518 There's a one sixth of a second delay. 00:01:12.542 --> 00:01:15.559 Did I catch myself? I did. 00:01:15.583 --> 00:01:18.934 I could see myself before I turned, 00:01:18.958 --> 00:01:23.018 and that small delay creates a little bit of a divide. NOTE Paragraph 00:01:23.042 --> 00:01:26.125 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:01:27.792 --> 00:01:32.434 And a divide is exactly what happens with human language, 00:01:32.458 --> 00:01:35.934 and the processing of that language. NOTE Paragraph 00:01:35.958 --> 00:01:40.184 I of course am working out of a small lab at MIT. NOTE Paragraph 00:01:40.208 --> 00:01:42.809 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:01:42.833 --> 00:01:46.184 And we are scraping for every insight that we can get. NOTE Paragraph 00:01:46.208 --> 00:01:47.268 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:01:47.292 --> 00:01:52.351 This is not often associated with a computational challenge, 00:01:52.375 --> 00:01:56.726 but in this case, we found that persistence of vision 00:01:56.750 --> 00:01:59.101 and auditory intake 00:01:59.125 --> 00:02:02.976 actually have more in common than we ever realized, 00:02:03.000 --> 00:02:05.518 and we can see it in this first slide. NOTE Paragraph 00:02:05.542 --> 00:02:09.684 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:02:09.708 --> 00:02:13.851 (Applause) NOTE Paragraph 00:02:13.875 --> 00:02:17.893 Immediately your processing goes to, "Is that a hard-boiled egg?" NOTE Paragraph 00:02:17.917 --> 00:02:19.851 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:02:19.875 --> 00:02:24.059 "Is that perhaps the structural integrity of the egg 00:02:24.083 --> 00:02:27.268 being able to sustain the weight of what seems to be a rock? 00:02:27.292 --> 00:02:29.917 Aha, is it in fact a real rock?" 00:02:31.208 --> 00:02:36.851 We go to questions when we see visual information. 00:02:36.875 --> 00:02:40.458 But when we hear information, this is what happens. NOTE Paragraph 00:02:41.250 --> 00:02:44.559 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:02:44.583 --> 00:02:49.101 The floodgates in our mind open much like the streets of Shanghai. NOTE Paragraph 00:02:49.125 --> 00:02:53.559 (Applause) NOTE Paragraph 00:02:53.583 --> 00:02:56.184 So many pieces of information to process, 00:02:56.208 --> 00:02:59.976 so many ideas, concepts, feelings and, of course, vulnerabilities 00:03:00.000 --> 00:03:02.351 that we don't often wish to share. 00:03:02.375 --> 00:03:03.976 And so we hide, 00:03:04.000 --> 00:03:08.476 and we hide behind what we like to call the floodgate of intimacy. NOTE Paragraph 00:03:08.500 --> 00:03:10.893 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:03:10.917 --> 00:03:13.559 And what might that floodgate be holding? 00:03:13.583 --> 00:03:16.893 What is the dike upon which it is built? 00:03:16.917 --> 00:03:18.893 Well, first off -- NOTE Paragraph 00:03:18.917 --> 00:03:24.268 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:03:24.292 --> 00:03:28.476 we found that it's different for six different genotypes. NOTE Paragraph 00:03:28.500 --> 00:03:31.833 (Applause) NOTE Paragraph 00:03:37.958 --> 00:03:40.809 And, of course, we can start categorizing these genotypes 00:03:40.833 --> 00:03:44.976 into a neuronormative experience and a neurodiverse experience. NOTE Paragraph 00:03:45.000 --> 00:03:47.101 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:03:47.125 --> 00:03:48.976 On the right-hand side of the screen, 00:03:49.000 --> 00:03:52.309 you're seeing spikes for the neurodiverse thinking. 00:03:52.333 --> 00:03:54.726 Now, there are generally only two emotional states 00:03:54.750 --> 00:04:00.393 that a neurodiverse brain can tabulate and keep count of at any given time, 00:04:00.417 --> 00:04:06.226 thereby eliminating the possibility for them to be emotionally, sometimes, 00:04:06.250 --> 00:04:08.518 attuned to the present situation. 00:04:08.542 --> 00:04:12.059 But on the left-hand side, you can see the neuronormative brain, 00:04:12.083 --> 00:04:15.309 which can often handle about five different pieces 00:04:15.333 --> 00:04:18.684 of emotional cognitive information at any given time. 00:04:18.708 --> 00:04:21.517 These are the slight variances that you are seeing 00:04:21.541 --> 00:04:23.976 in the 75, 90 and 60 percentile, 00:04:24.000 --> 00:04:26.059 and then of course that dramatic difference 00:04:26.083 --> 00:04:28.268 of the 25, 40 and 35 percentile. NOTE Paragraph 00:04:28.292 --> 00:04:29.309 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:04:29.333 --> 00:04:31.643 But of course, what is the neural network 00:04:31.667 --> 00:04:37.208 that is helping to bridge and build these different discrepancies? NOTE Paragraph 00:04:38.333 --> 00:04:41.292 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:04:47.125 --> 00:04:48.393 Fear. NOTE Paragraph 00:04:48.417 --> 00:04:50.268 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:04:50.292 --> 00:04:52.542 (Applause) NOTE Paragraph 00:04:56.167 --> 00:04:59.018 And as we all know, fear resides in the amygdala, 00:04:59.042 --> 00:05:01.309 and it is a very natural response, 00:05:01.333 --> 00:05:05.809 and it is very closely linked with visual perception. 00:05:05.833 --> 00:05:09.018 It is not as closely linked with verbal perception, 00:05:09.042 --> 00:05:12.018 so our fear receptors often will be going off 00:05:12.042 --> 00:05:18.184 in advance of any of our cognitive usage around verbal and words 00:05:18.208 --> 00:05:20.393 and cues of language. 00:05:20.417 --> 00:05:23.226 So as we see these fear moments, 00:05:23.250 --> 00:05:26.018 we of course are taken aback. 00:05:26.042 --> 00:05:28.542 We stumble in a certain direction, 00:05:30.292 --> 00:05:33.184 generally away from the intimacy. NOTE Paragraph 00:05:33.208 --> 00:05:35.143 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:05:35.167 --> 00:05:38.518 Now of course, there's a difference between the male perception 00:05:38.542 --> 00:05:40.018 and the female perception 00:05:40.042 --> 00:05:43.976 and of trans and those who are in between, all of those as well, 00:05:44.000 --> 00:05:46.143 and outside of the gender spectrum. NOTE Paragraph 00:05:46.167 --> 00:05:49.518 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:05:49.542 --> 00:05:53.268 But fear is the central underlying underpinning 00:05:53.292 --> 00:05:55.726 of all of our response systems. 00:05:55.750 --> 00:05:59.226 Fight-or-flight is one of the earliest, 00:05:59.250 --> 00:06:03.226 some say reptilian, response to our environment. NOTE Paragraph 00:06:03.250 --> 00:06:08.559 How can we disengage or unhook ourselves from the horns of the amygdala? NOTE Paragraph 00:06:08.583 --> 00:06:10.684 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:06:10.708 --> 00:06:13.643 Well, I'd like to tell you the secret right now. NOTE Paragraph 00:06:13.667 --> 00:06:16.875 (Applause) NOTE Paragraph 00:06:21.583 --> 00:06:24.059 This is all making much, much too much sense. NOTE Paragraph 00:06:24.083 --> 00:06:26.333 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:06:28.167 --> 00:06:31.351 The secret lies 00:06:31.375 --> 00:06:34.601 in turning our backs to one another, 00:06:34.625 --> 00:06:38.309 and I know that that sounds absolutely like the opposite 00:06:38.333 --> 00:06:40.309 of what you were expecting, 00:06:40.333 --> 00:06:44.643 but when in a relationship you turn your back to your partner 00:06:44.667 --> 00:06:47.393 and place your back upon their back -- NOTE Paragraph 00:06:47.417 --> 00:06:49.976 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:06:50.000 --> 00:06:52.101 you eliminate visual cues. NOTE Paragraph 00:06:52.125 --> 00:06:53.309 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:06:53.333 --> 00:06:55.917 (Applause) NOTE Paragraph 00:06:58.292 --> 00:07:01.309 You are more readily available 00:07:01.333 --> 00:07:05.143 to failing first, 00:07:05.167 --> 00:07:06.833 and failing first -- NOTE Paragraph 00:07:07.708 --> 00:07:09.809 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:07:09.833 --> 00:07:15.393 far outweighs the lengths we go to 00:07:15.417 --> 00:07:17.809 to appeal to others, 00:07:17.833 --> 00:07:20.059 to our partners and to ourselves. 00:07:20.083 --> 00:07:23.059 We spend billions and billions of dollars 00:07:23.083 --> 00:07:26.351 on clothing, on makeup, 00:07:26.375 --> 00:07:28.750 on the latest trend of glasses, 00:07:30.667 --> 00:07:33.518 but what we don't spend money and time on 00:07:33.542 --> 00:07:36.434 is connecting with each other 00:07:36.458 --> 00:07:38.684 in a way that is truthful 00:07:38.708 --> 00:07:39.976 and honest 00:07:40.000 --> 00:07:42.893 and stripped of those visual receptors. NOTE Paragraph 00:07:42.917 --> 00:07:46.500 (Applause) NOTE Paragraph 00:07:48.542 --> 00:07:50.934 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:07:50.958 --> 00:07:52.684 It sounds hard, doesn't it? NOTE Paragraph 00:07:52.708 --> 00:07:56.625 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:08:01.917 --> 00:08:03.958 But we want to be aggressive about this. 00:08:05.375 --> 00:08:07.625 We don't want to just sit on the couch. 00:08:08.792 --> 00:08:10.684 As a historian said earlier today, 00:08:10.708 --> 00:08:15.976 it's important to get up and circumvent sometimes that couch. 00:08:16.000 --> 00:08:17.601 And how can we do it? 00:08:17.625 --> 00:08:20.458 Well yes, ice is a big part of it. 00:08:22.792 --> 00:08:25.601 Insights, compassion and empathy: 00:08:25.625 --> 00:08:27.934 I, C, E. NOTE Paragraph 00:08:27.958 --> 00:08:30.750 (Applause) NOTE Paragraph 00:08:39.500 --> 00:08:42.582 And when we start using this ice method, 00:08:44.458 --> 00:08:48.500 well, the possibilities become much bigger than us. 00:08:49.542 --> 00:08:52.833 In fact, they become smaller than you. 00:08:54.583 --> 00:08:56.934 On a molecular level, 00:08:56.958 --> 00:08:59.976 I believe that that insight 00:09:00.000 --> 00:09:01.809 is the unifying theme 00:09:01.833 --> 00:09:04.934 for every talk you have seen so far at TED 00:09:04.958 --> 00:09:08.226 and will continue as we of course embark 00:09:08.250 --> 00:09:13.476 on this journey here on this tiny planet, 00:09:13.500 --> 00:09:16.601 on the ledge, on the precipice, 00:09:16.625 --> 00:09:20.059 as we are seeing, yes, death is inevitable. NOTE Paragraph 00:09:20.083 --> 00:09:22.684 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:09:22.708 --> 00:09:25.268 Will it meet all of us at the same time, 00:09:25.292 --> 00:09:27.726 I think, is the variable we are inquiring. NOTE Paragraph 00:09:27.750 --> 00:09:29.750 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:09:34.375 --> 00:09:37.143 I think that timeline gets a bit longer 00:09:37.167 --> 00:09:38.643 when we use ice 00:09:38.667 --> 00:09:41.875 and when we rest our backs upon one another 00:09:43.458 --> 00:09:45.059 and build together, 00:09:45.083 --> 00:09:47.101 leaving behind the fear 00:09:47.125 --> 00:09:48.792 and working towards -- NOTE Paragraph 00:09:49.500 --> 00:09:52.833 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:10:02.125 --> 00:10:03.726 they'll edit this part out -- NOTE Paragraph 00:10:03.750 --> 00:10:05.708 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:10:08.500 --> 00:10:12.643 a ripened experience of love, 00:10:12.667 --> 00:10:14.143 compassion, 00:10:14.167 --> 00:10:16.476 intimacy based on a truth 00:10:16.500 --> 00:10:20.184 that you are sharing from your mind's eye 00:10:20.208 --> 00:10:24.476 and the heart that we all can touch, 00:10:24.500 --> 00:10:26.226 tactilely feel, 00:10:26.250 --> 00:10:30.684 have maybe potentially a mushy experience 00:10:30.708 --> 00:10:33.833 that we don't just throw out because it is browned, 00:10:35.333 --> 00:10:41.476 but let us slice in half the experience we have gathered, 00:10:41.500 --> 00:10:44.351 let us seed what the heart, the core, 00:10:44.375 --> 00:10:47.101 the seed of that idea in each of us is, 00:10:47.125 --> 00:10:49.226 and let us share it back to back. NOTE Paragraph 00:10:49.250 --> 00:10:50.643 Thank you very much. NOTE Paragraph 00:10:50.667 --> 00:10:55.083 (Applause)