To Or Not Let Go: Megan Washington at TEDxSydney
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0:14 - 0:19I didn't know when I agreed to do this
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0:19 - 0:23whether I was expected to talk or to sing.
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0:24 - 0:29But when I was told
that the topic was language, -
0:29 - 0:34I felt that I had to speak
about something for a moment. -
0:34 - 0:37I have a problem.
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0:38 - 0:40It's not the worst thing in the world.
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0:40 - 0:42I'm fine.
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0:42 - 0:43I'm not on fire.
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0:43 - 0:45I know that other people in the world
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0:45 - 0:49have far worse things to deal with,
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0:49 - 0:54but for me, language and music
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0:55 - 1:00are inextricably linked
through this one thing. -
1:00 - 1:04And the thing is that I have a stutter.
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1:08 - 1:10It might seem curious given that I spend
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1:10 - 1:14a lot of my life on the stage.
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1:14 - 1:17One would assume that I'm comfortable
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1:17 - 1:19in the public sphere and comfortable here,
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1:19 - 1:22speaking to you guys.
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1:22 - 1:27But the truth is that I've spent
my life up until this point -
1:27 - 1:31and including this point,
living in mortal dread -
1:31 - 1:34of public speaking.
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1:34 - 1:39Public singing, whole different thing.
(Laughter) -
1:39 - 1:42But we'll get to that in a moment.
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1:42 - 1:47I've never really talked about it
before so explicitly. -
1:48 - 1:51I think that that's because
I've always lived in hope -
1:51 - 1:53that when I was a grown-up,
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1:53 - 1:56I wouldn't have one.
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1:59 - 2:03I sort of lived with this idea
that when I'm grown, -
2:03 - 2:06I'll have learned to speak French,
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2:06 - 2:09and when I'm grown,
I'll learn how to manage my money, -
2:09 - 2:11and when I'm grown,
I won't have a stutter, -
2:11 - 2:15and then I'll be able to public speak
and maybe be the prime minister -
2:15 - 2:17and anything's possible and, you know.
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2:17 - 2:21(Laughter)
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2:21 - 2:24So I can talk about it now
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2:24 - 2:27because I've reached this point, where —
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2:27 - 2:31I mean, I'm 28.
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2:31 - 2:34I'm pretty sure that I'm grown now.
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2:34 - 2:36(Laughter)
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2:36 - 2:38And I'm an adult woman
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2:38 - 2:41who spends her life as a performer,
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2:42 - 2:45with a speech impediment.
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2:45 - 2:49So, I might as well come clean about it.
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2:49 - 2:53There are some interesting angles
to having a stutter. -
2:53 - 2:56For me, the worst thing that can happen
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2:56 - 2:59is meeting another stutterer.
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2:59 - 3:03(Laughter)
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3:03 - 3:06This happened to me in Hamburg,
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3:06 - 3:08when this guy, we met and he said,
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3:08 - 3:12"Hello, m-m-m-my name is Joe,"
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3:12 - 3:16and I said,
"Oh, hello, m-m-m-my name is Meg." -
3:16 - 3:18Imagine my horror when I realized
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3:18 - 3:20he thought I was making fun of him.
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3:20 - 3:24(Laughter)
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3:26 - 3:31People think I'm drunk all the time.
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3:31 - 3:35(Laughter)
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3:35 - 3:38People think
that I've forgotten their name -
3:38 - 3:42when I hesitate before saying it.
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3:43 - 3:45And it is a very weird thing,
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3:45 - 3:49because proper nouns are the worst.
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3:49 - 3:53If I'm going to use the word "Wednesday"
in a sentence, -
3:53 - 3:56and I'm coming up to the word,
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3:56 - 3:59and I can feel
that I'm going to stutter or something, -
3:59 - 4:02I can change the word to "tomorrow,"
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4:02 - 4:04or "the day after Tuesday,"
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4:04 - 4:07or something else.
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4:07 - 4:12It's clunky, but you can get away with it,
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4:12 - 4:14because over time I've developed this
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4:14 - 4:19loophole method of using speech
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4:19 - 4:22where right at the last minute you
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4:22 - 4:26change the thing and you trick your brain.
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4:26 - 4:30But with people's names,
you can't change them. -
4:30 - 4:33(Laughter)
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4:33 - 4:36When I was singing a lot of jazz,
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4:36 - 4:41I worked a lot with a pianist
whose name was Steve. -
4:41 - 4:44As you can probably gather,
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4:44 - 4:47S's and T's, together or independently,
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4:47 - 4:50are my kryptonite.
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4:51 - 4:53But I would have to introduce the band
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4:53 - 4:57over this rolling vamp,
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4:57 - 4:59and when I got around to Steve,
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4:59 - 5:04I'd often find myself stuck on the "St."
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5:05 - 5:11And it was a bit awkward and uncomfortable
and it totally kills the vibe. -
5:11 - 5:13So after a few instances of this,
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5:13 - 5:18Steve happily became "Seve,"
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5:18 - 5:23and we got through it that way.
(Laughter) -
5:24 - 5:26I've had a lot of therapy,
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5:26 - 5:29and a common form of treatment is to use
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5:29 - 5:33this technique that's called
smooth speech, -
5:33 - 5:39which is where you almost sing
everything that you say. -
5:39 - 5:41You kind of join everything together
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5:41 - 5:45in this very singsong,
kindergarten teacher way, -
5:45 - 5:49and it makes you sound very serene,
like you've had lots of Valium, -
5:49 - 5:53and everything is calm.
(Laughter) -
5:53 - 5:56That's not actually me.
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5:56 - 6:00And I do use that. I do.
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6:00 - 6:04I use it when I have to be on panel shows,
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6:07 - 6:10or when I have to do radio interviews,
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6:10 - 6:15when the economy of airtime is paramount.
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6:15 - 6:18(Laughter)
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6:18 - 6:22I get through it that way for my job.
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6:22 - 6:25But as an artist who feels that their work
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6:25 - 6:31is based solely on a platform of honesty
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6:31 - 6:34and being real,
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6:35 - 6:39that feels often like cheating.
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6:39 - 6:42Which is why before I sing,
I wanted to tell you -
6:42 - 6:46what singing means to me.
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6:46 - 6:50It's more than making nice sounds,
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6:50 - 6:55and it's more than making nice songs.
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6:55 - 7:00It's more than feeling known,
or understood. -
7:01 - 7:06It's more than making you feel
the things that I feel. -
7:07 - 7:09It's not about mythology,
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7:09 - 7:13or mythologizing myself to you.
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7:14 - 7:19Somehow, through some miraculous
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7:20 - 7:24synaptic function of the human brain,
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7:24 - 7:29it's impossible to stutter when you sing.
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7:30 - 7:34And when I was younger,
that was a method of treatment -
7:34 - 7:36that worked very well for me,
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7:36 - 7:40singing, so I did it a lot.
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7:42 - 7:46And that's why I'm here today.
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7:46 - 7:50(Applause)
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7:50 - 7:52Thank you.
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7:56 - 8:00Singing for me is sweet relief.
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8:01 - 8:05It is the only time when I feel fluent.
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8:09 - 8:13It is the only time
when what comes out of my mouth -
8:13 - 8:15is comprehensively
exactly what I intended. -
8:15 - 8:18(Laughter)
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8:18 - 8:21So I know that this is a TED Talk,
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8:21 - 8:24but now i'm going to TED sing.
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8:24 - 8:26This is a song that I wrote last year.
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8:26 - 8:28Thank you very much.
Thank you. -
8:28 - 8:34(Applause)
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8:41 - 8:46(Piano)
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8:57 - 9:01♪ I would be a beauty ♪
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9:01 - 9:04♪ but my nose ♪
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9:04 - 9:08♪ is slightly too big ♪
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9:08 - 9:11♪ for my face ♪
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9:11 - 9:15♪ And I would be a dreamer ♪
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9:15 - 9:19♪ but my dream ♪
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9:19 - 9:22♪ is slightly too big ♪
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9:22 - 9:26♪ for this space ♪
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9:26 - 9:30♪ And I would be an angel ♪
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9:30 - 9:33♪ but my halo ♪
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9:33 - 9:37♪ it pales in the glow ♪
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9:37 - 9:40♪ of your grace ♪
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9:40 - 9:44♪ And I would be a joker ♪
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9:44 - 9:53♪ but that card looks silly
when you play ♪ -
9:53 - 9:57♪ your ace ♪
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10:10 - 10:13♪ I'd like to know ♪
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10:13 - 10:17♪ Are there stars in hell? ♪
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10:17 - 10:21♪ And I'd like to know ♪
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10:21 - 10:25♪ know if you can tell ♪
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10:25 - 10:32♪ that you make me lose
everything I know ♪ -
10:32 - 10:39♪ That I cannot choose to or not let go ♪
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10:52 - 10:56♪ And I'd stay forever ♪
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10:56 - 10:59♪ but my home ♪
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10:59 - 11:03♪ is slightly too far ♪
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11:03 - 11:06♪ from this place ♪
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11:06 - 11:10♪ And I swear I tried to ♪
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11:10 - 11:14♪ slow it down ♪
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11:14 - 11:21♪ when I am walking at your pace ♪
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11:21 - 11:23♪ But all I could think ♪
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11:23 - 11:29♪ idling through the cities ♪
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11:29 - 11:36♪ do I look pretty in the rain? ♪
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11:36 - 11:39♪ And I don't know how someone ♪
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11:39 - 11:43♪ quite so lovely ♪
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11:43 - 11:48♪ makes me feel ugly ♪
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11:48 - 11:51♪ So much shame ♪
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11:58 - 12:01♪ And I'd like to know ♪
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12:01 - 12:05♪ Are there stars in hell? ♪
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12:05 - 12:09♪ And I'd like to know ♪
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12:09 - 12:12♪ know if you can tell ♪
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12:12 - 12:19♪ that you make me lose
everything I know ♪ -
12:19 - 12:26♪ that I cannot choose to or not let go ♪
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12:55 - 12:59Thank you very much.
(Applause)
- Title:
- To Or Not Let Go: Megan Washington at TEDxSydney
- Description:
-
Megan Washington is one of Australia's premier singer/songwriters and in this surprising talk Megan reveals her secret problem. Since childhood, Megan has been afflicted with a stutter which has hampered her ability to communicate. Except when she sings.
- Video Language:
- English
- Team:
- closed TED
- Project:
- TEDxTalks
- Duration:
- 13:14
TED Translators admin approved English subtitles for To Or Not Let Go: Megan Washington at TEDxSydney | ||
TED Translators admin accepted English subtitles for To Or Not Let Go: Megan Washington at TEDxSydney | ||
TED Translators admin edited English subtitles for To Or Not Let Go: Megan Washington at TEDxSydney | ||
TED Translators admin edited English subtitles for To Or Not Let Go: Megan Washington at TEDxSydney | ||
TED Translators admin edited English subtitles for To Or Not Let Go: Megan Washington at TEDxSydney | ||
TED Translators admin edited English subtitles for To Or Not Let Go: Megan Washington at TEDxSydney | ||
TED Translators admin edited English subtitles for To Or Not Let Go: Megan Washington at TEDxSydney | ||
TED Translators admin edited English subtitles for To Or Not Let Go: Megan Washington at TEDxSydney |
Krystian Aparta
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