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On tennis, love and motherhood

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    Gayle King: Have a seat, Serena Williams,
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    or should we say, have a seat, mom.
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    (Cheers)
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    So no doubt, you guys are like me.
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    You saw the release of Serena
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    in that great yellow
    bathing suit last week
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    and when I saw it,
    all I could think of was,
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    "Gosh, why couldn't she have waited
    til we sat onstage for TED?"
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    I was very selfish, I know.
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    So I asked you about that picture,
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    and you said nobody was
    supposed to see that picture.
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    What do you mean?
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    Serena Williams: Well,
    actually, it was an accident.
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    I was on vacation,
    just taking some time for myself,
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    and I have this thing
    where I've been checking my status
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    and taking pictures every week
    to see how far along I'm going --
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    GK: And sharing it with friends, maybe?
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    SW: No, actually
    I have just been saving it,
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    and I didn't really tell a lot of people,
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    to be quite honest,
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    and I'd been saving it,
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    and you know how social media is,
    you press the wrong button and --
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    (Laughter)
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    GK: And there it was.
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    SW: So 30 minutes later --
    my phone doesn't ring that much --
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    and 30 minutes later,
    I missed like four calls,
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    and I'm like, that's weird,
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    and then I picked it up
    and I was like, oh no.
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    But it was a good moment.
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    I was gonna wait literally
    just five or six more days -- that's OK.
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    GK: I know, because it was weird,
    Serena, because it only said 20 weeks,
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    so it's not like there was
    a whole lot of information on it.
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    SW: Exactly, so that's
    what I've been doing all this time.
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    I've been just tracking it.
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    18, 19 -- every week
    I'd just take a picture and save it,
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    and I've been so good about it,
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    and this was the one time that I slipped.
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    GK: There you go. Well, congratulations.
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    SW: Yes, thank you.
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    GK: It really is OK.
    When you heard the news,
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    were you excited?
    Were you afraid? Were you worried?
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    That you were pregnant, I mean.
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    SW: So I heard it two days before
    the beginning of the Australian Open,
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    which is one of the biggest grand slams.
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    GK: You found out two days before?
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    SW: Yeah, so it was
    two days before, and I knew.
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    I was nervous.
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    I wasn't quite sure what to think,
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    but I just knew that at that moment
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    it was really important for me
    to just focus right there
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    at the Australian Open,
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    and I was definitely not sure what to do.
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    I was like, can I play?
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    I know it's very dangerous, maybe,
    sometimes in the first 12 weeks or so,
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    so I had a lot of questions.
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    GK: But not only did you play,
    Ms. Williams, you won.
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    (Cheers)
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    SW: Yeah.
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    May I just say, 23 grand slams to you.
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    SW: Thank you.
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    (Applause)
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    GK: While pregnant!
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    SW: Well, I was looking
    for another handicap, so ... no.
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    GK: Did you play differently that game,
    knowing you were pregnant?
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    SW: I did. It wasn't very easy.
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    You hear all these stories
    about people when they're pregnant,
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    they get sick and they get tired.
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    GK: Have you had morning sickness?
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    SW: No, I've been so fortunate
    and so I haven't.
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    But they get really tired
    and they get really stressed out,
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    and I had to really take all that energy,
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    put it in a paper bag, so to say,
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    and throw it away,
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    because I really felt
    like I didn't have time
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    to deal with any extra emotions,
    any extra anything,
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    because pregnant or not, no one knew,
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    and I was supposed to win that tournament
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    as I am every tournament that I show up.
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    I am expected to win,
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    and if I don't win,
    it's actually much bigger news.
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    GK: Yeah, when you don't win,
    that's a big story.
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    SW: Yes, so for me,
    I had to really take anything negative
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    and any emotions
    that I was feeling at that point
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    and kind of just bottle them up
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    and really figure out
    what the next step for me to do was.
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    GK: You have a lot of support.
    You have a lot of love.
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    Even when I was coming here,
    people stopped me at the airport.
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    I was saying to the flight attendant,
    the pilot, "Guess where I'm going?"
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    They said, "Oh my God,
    we're so glad she's pregnant."
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    But then you always have
    these cranky Yankees.
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    On the way over here, somebody
    was telling me about Ilie Nastase,
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    who said some very unkind, inappropriate,
    dare I say racial things.
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    You have responded to him.
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    I'm not even going
    to dignify what he said,
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    but you responded. Why did you respond?
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    SW: Well, I think there are
    very inappropriate comments,
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    and not only that, I've been
    really supportive of my peers
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    and the people that I've worked with.
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    I've been a pro for almost 20 years,
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    and so for me, it's really important
    to hold women up,
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    and it's something that these young women,
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    they'll come to the locker room,
    they'll want to take pictures with me,
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    and for me, it's just like,
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    I want to be able to be a good leader
    and a good example for them.
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    So not only --
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    (Applause)
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    Not only did he have rude things
    to say about me and my peers,
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    I felt it was important
    for us to stand up for each other
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    and to stand up for myself.
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    And at that point it was
    really important for me to say,
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    like, I'm not afraid,
    I'm not going anywhere,
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    but this is inappropriate,
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    and there's time and there's
    a place for everything.
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    And that really
    wasn't the time and the place.
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    GK: We cut the part where you said
    you're not going anywhere,
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    because you'll be 36 in September.
    Baby's coming, 36.
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    And your coach said
    age is always important,
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    but in tennis it's very important,
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    but he has no doubt
    that you're coming back.
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    Have you thought, am I coming back?
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    Will I take some time off?
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    I know the women on the tour are saying,
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    "How long does it take to have a baby?
    Two years will she be gone?"
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    What are you thinking?
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    SW: Well, I'm always trying
    to defy the odds, you know,
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    so for me everything is really mental.
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    I definitely plan on coming back.
    I'm not done yet.
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    I'm really inspired by my sister.
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    She's a year older than me,
    and that's something that --
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    if she's still playing, I know I can play.
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    (Laughter)
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    And there's so many -- Roger Federer,
    he's a little bit older than me
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    and he's still winning everything,
    so I'm like, I know I can do that too.
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    So that's been so inspiring to me,
    especially recently,
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    and I know that
    it's something I want to do.
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    And my story is definitely not over yet.
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    I was talking to my coach about it,
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    and we were talking about
    how this is just a new part of my life,
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    and my baby's going to be in the stands
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    and hopefully cheering for me,
    not crying too much.
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    GK: No, you wrote a beautiful
    letter to your baby yesterday
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    that you said -- from the oldest mommy
    to the youngest one,
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    to the oldest, to the youngest,
    I can't wait for you to get here.
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    A lot of people feel that.
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    I saw you about a year ago,
    because I think about your life, Serena.
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    You've had three life-changing things
    in a six-month time:
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    pregnant, huge win, fell in love.
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    And when I saw you last year,
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    I was saying, "How's
    your love life? Da da da."
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    You said, "I met a guy.
    He's a nerdy, kinda geeky guy.
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    You won't know who he is."
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    I said, "What's his name?"
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    SW: I remember talking
    to you about that, yes.
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    GK: And you said, "Alexis Ohanian."
    I said, "I know him!" He's awesome.
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    But I would never put you
    with a nerdy geek,
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    and you said, you neither.
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    SW: I'm going to be honest
    with you, I didn't either,
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    but it's been the best thing for me.
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    GK: The best thing why?
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    Does that look like a nerdy geek?
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    Look at the shirt.
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    (Laughter)
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    No, he's a very nice guy.
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    SW: You can tell he's into technology.
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    GK: He's a very, very nice guy.
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    I like him very much.
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    So how did he succeed
    when others have failed?
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    How was he the one that you knew,
    this is the one for me?
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    SW: Well, I'm not going to say that,
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    but ...
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    (Laughter)
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    GK: Say it, Serena, say it!
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    SW: Well ...
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    (Laughter)
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    Yes.
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    (Applause)
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    GK: But you know what I mean.
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    SW: He is very loving and he's very kind,
    and my mom says he's very considerate,
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    and when she said that to me,
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    I was like, you know, he really is,
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    and it's the little things that really
    make a huge difference in life.
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    GK: Like?
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    SW: Something simple.
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    My fashion company,
    we have a show every year,
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    so in our show last year,
    I was running around like crazy,
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    because I do everything for the show,
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    and everything for it,
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    so I was running around like crazy,
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    and he, it was a simple gesture
    of this shirt that he had,
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    and he just wanted to make sure
    that I had the same one,
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    and it was -- it's a weird story.
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    It was better in person, I promise.
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    GK: Was it a wonderful proposal?
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    Or was it a Beyoncé song?
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    "If you like it then you
    ought to put a ring on it"?
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    Were you feeling pressure to get married?
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    Did you know it was coming?
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    SW: Yeah, I actually
    never felt pressure to get married
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    and I can't say
    I'm the marrying type of person.
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    I really love my life.
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    I love my freedom.
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    I heard that kind of changes.
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    But I love everything that I do,
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    and I love my career,
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    and I always felt like I didn't want
    anything to interfere with that.
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    I've actually been so career-oriented
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    and in fact, when he proposed,
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    I was almost angry.
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    Not almost. I was angry,
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    because it was right
    in the middle of my training season,
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    and I said, "I gotta win
    the Australian Open.
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    I can't fly to Rome."
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    Because he wanted to take me to Rome,
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    and I said, "I can't. I gotta win."
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    But that's how focused I was.
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    GK: This is a girl that says,
    "No, I can't go to Rome." OK.
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    SW: But I was really focused
    on reaching my goals
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    and I knew at that point there was
    one player that I wanted to pass.
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    I wanted to pass Steffi Graf's record,
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    and that really meant a lot to me,
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    and when I put my mind to something,
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    I really am determined to reach it
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    no matter what.
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    GK: You know, you said that for you --
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    I've heard you say
    that winning is addictive to you.
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    SW: It is.
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    GK: What do you mean?
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    SW: I feel like winning for me
    is superaddictive.
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    I feel like once you experience it,
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    you always want to get that feeling again,
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    and when I won my first championship,
    I was only 17 years old,
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    but I never forgot that feeling,
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    and I feel like every time I win one,
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    I want to reach that feeling
    of your first championship.
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    There's really no feeling
    in the world like that.
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    And it's like, all these years of training
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    and being a little kid and playing,
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    and then winning
    is a wonderful experience.
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    So for me I've always felt
    like I loved that feeling,
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    and obviously I don't like
    the feeling of losing. I feel like --
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    GK: No, in fact, people close to you
    say you're a very bad loser.
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    SW: I'm not the best loser.
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    GK: That you're very, very, very bad.
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    Listen, no athlete,
    no champion likes to lose.
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    I get that.
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    But they say when it comes to losing,
    you are very, very, very bad at it.
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    (Laughter)
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    SW: I'm number one at losing too,
    so you know, that's all I can say.
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    (Laughter)
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    (Applause)
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    GK: I'm always curious about the dynamic
    between you and Venus,
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    because everybody that knows you
    and has followed the story
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    knows that you two are very close,
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    and you always bring your A game
    in whatever you do,
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    but I often wonder,
    when you're playing her,
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    do you bring your A- game
    because you want to do something for her
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    or do you bring your A++ game
    because you want to crush her.
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    Is it harder for you
    playing her or easier?
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    SW: Well, playing Venus
    is like playing myself,
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    because we grew up playing each other,
    we grew up practicing together.
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    And it was something
    that has been difficult,
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    because she's my toughest opponent.
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    She's tall, she's fast,
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    she hits hard like me, she serves like me.
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    It's really like playing a wall.
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    GK: She knows you.
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    SW: She knows where I'm hitting
    the ball before I hit it,
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    so it's something that is not very easy,
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    but it's really about,
    when I go out there,
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    I really have to shut down my mind
    and I have to say to myself,
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    "You know what?
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    I'm just playing a great player,
    but today I have to be better.
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    I don't care who it is,
    if it's my sister or it's my friend,
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    today is the day I have to show up
    and I have to be better
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    and I have to want it more
    than anyone else at this moment
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    anywhere on this world."
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    GK: So never on the court
    do you fall back for Venus?
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    Because, you know,
    it was always Venus and Serena.
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    SW: Yes.
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    GK: And now baby sister
    has surpassed older sister.
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    Do you feel guilt about that?
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    Do you feel joy in that?
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    Is that a difficult position for you?
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    SW: I don't feel anything in there.
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    In my life, it still and forever
    is always going to be Venus and Serena.
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    She's really love of my life,
    she's my best friend,
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    she's my soul mate.
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    I mean --
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    There's pictures of her pushing me,
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    really low-quality pictures
    or else I would have shared them,
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    of her pushing me
    in a stroller on a tennis court,
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    and she always took care of me.
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    I used to spend all of my allowance
    money on the ice cream truck and stuff,
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    and she would take her money
    and give it to me at school
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    and make sure I had something to eat
    and she would go without,
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    and that's the kind of person
    she actually is
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    since I've always known her.
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    So we always have this incredible
    respect for each other
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    and this incredible love,
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    and I think it's important for people
    to realize you can be successful
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    but you can still have
    a wonderful relationship.
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    On the court we are mortal enemies,
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    but the second we shake hands,
    we are best friends again.
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    And if I lose, it might be
    a day later for me,
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    but for Venus --
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    (Laughter)
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    GK: There's never a time on the court
    where you hit the ball
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    and say, "That's for seventh grade
    when you did the blah blah blah"?
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    You never have any moment like that?
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    SW: I feel like she should have
    those moments,
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    because she's never done
    anything bad to me,
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    but I'm the youngest.
    I'm the younger sister.
  • 12:35 - 12:38
    GK: Serena, she's never done
    anything bad to you? Really?
  • 12:38 - 12:41
    I have three sisters.
    I can think of some stuff I've done bad.
  • 12:41 - 12:43
    SW: Unless she brainwashed me
    to forget them.
  • 12:44 - 12:48
    GK: No, but the love you have for her
    I know is very pure. I know that.
  • 12:48 - 12:49
    SW: Yes. GK: I know that.
  • 12:49 - 12:51
    SW: We were always brought up
    to be superclose,
  • 12:51 - 12:53
    and we are incredibly close.
  • 12:53 - 12:54
    Not only her.
  • 12:54 - 12:59
    I have three other sisters as well,
    and we were always so close.
  • 12:59 - 13:02
    GK: So before a big match,
    the two of you don't get together
  • 13:02 - 13:05
    and say, look, we're going
    to go out there and -- there's nothing?
  • 13:05 - 13:07
    SW: Well, it's funny.
    Before the Australian Open,
  • 13:07 - 13:09
    we were in the locker room together,
  • 13:09 - 13:13
    and I always pick on her, so I pulled out
    my camera while she was changing.
  • 13:13 - 13:16
    I started taking pictures of her,
    which is totally inappropriate,
  • 13:16 - 13:17
    but she was so mad at me.
  • 13:17 - 13:20
    She's like, "Serena, stop!"
    And I was just laughing at her.
  • 13:20 - 13:24
    But that's the kind of relationship
    that we have, and like I said,
  • 13:24 - 13:26
    the second we step on the court,
  • 13:26 - 13:30
    it was like, we were
    definitely mortal enemies,
  • 13:30 - 13:34
    but the second we stepped off,
    and moments before, we're just --
  • 13:34 - 13:36
    It is what it is,
    because at the end of the day,
  • 13:37 - 13:38
    she'll always be my sister.
  • 13:38 - 13:40
    I'm not going to play Australia in --
  • 13:40 - 13:42
    Well, who knows,
    I've been playing forever,
  • 13:42 - 13:44
    but I don't think
    I'll be playing in 50 years, say?
  • 13:44 - 13:46
    Let's be safe and say 50 years.
  • 13:46 - 13:49
    GK: I don't know, Serena.
    There's never been anybody like you.
  • 13:49 - 13:51
    When you think about it,
    never been anybody
  • 13:51 - 13:54
    who has intersected
    gender and race the way you have,
  • 13:54 - 13:57
    the dominance that you have
    and the scrutiny that you have.
  • 13:57 - 14:00
    And when you were growing up,
    did you say, "I want to be like that"?
  • 14:00 - 14:02
    Because now little girls
    are looking at you
  • 14:02 - 14:03
    saying, "I want to be like that."
  • 14:03 - 14:06
    Who was the "I want
    to be like that" for you?
  • 14:06 - 14:09
    SW: Well, it's interesting,
    and I'm glad you brought that up.
  • 14:09 - 14:11
    For me, when I grew up,
    I always wanted to be the best,
  • 14:11 - 14:15
    and I said, if you want to be the best,
    you've got to emulate the best.
  • 14:15 - 14:17
    So when I started to go on tour
    when I was really young,
  • 14:17 - 14:20
    I would see Steffi Graf,
    I would see Monica Seles,
  • 14:20 - 14:22
    and I would even see Pete Sampras,
  • 14:22 - 14:23
    and I would see what they did,
  • 14:23 - 14:25
    and I noticed that Steffi and Monica
  • 14:25 - 14:28
    didn't really talk
    to a lot of the other players,
  • 14:28 - 14:30
    and they kind of were on their own,
  • 14:30 - 14:31
    and they were just so focused
  • 14:31 - 14:34
    and I would see Pete Sampras,
    the technique that he did,
  • 14:34 - 14:37
    and I was like, "I want to do that."
  • 14:37 - 14:40
    So I did that, and I felt
    that to be the best,
  • 14:40 - 14:42
    and if you want to be the best,
  • 14:42 - 14:43
    you have to hang around people
  • 14:43 - 14:45
    and you have to look at people
    that are the best,
  • 14:46 - 14:47
    because you're not going to be the best
  • 14:47 - 14:50
    if you're looking at someone
    that's not at the top level.
  • 14:50 - 14:52
    GK: People say
    nobody works as hard as you.
  • 14:52 - 14:55
    SW: I'm a very hard worker.
    GK: That's what I heard.
  • 14:55 - 14:57
    SW: People say, "Oh,
    she's talented, she's athletic."
  • 14:57 - 15:00
    Actually, I wasn't.
    I was really small for my age.
  • 15:00 - 15:01
    I grew up when I got older,
  • 15:01 - 15:03
    and I had to work really hard,
  • 15:03 - 15:06
    and I think one of the reasons
    why I fight so hard and I work so hard
  • 15:06 - 15:08
    is because I was
    really, really, really small.
  • 15:08 - 15:10
    GK: Yeah.
  • 15:10 - 15:11
    You are no longer small.
  • 15:11 - 15:14
    SW: No, I'm fully grown now.
  • 15:14 - 15:17
    But I was small when I was really young
    for whatever reason.
  • 15:17 - 15:20
    I think Venus maybe ate all the Wheaties.
  • 15:20 - 15:23
    GK: You know, the other thing
    people talk about is your body.
  • 15:23 - 15:27
    Your body brings men
    and women to their knees.
  • 15:27 - 15:29
    And I mean in a good way.
  • 15:29 - 15:31
    A lot has been made about your body.
  • 15:31 - 15:36
    It's a work of art,
    it's masculine, it's glorious,
  • 15:36 - 15:38
    there's never been anything like it.
  • 15:38 - 15:41
    Did you have body issues
    when you were growing up?
  • 15:41 - 15:43
    Have you always been
    comfortable with your body?
  • 15:43 - 15:46
    SW: It's interesting, because
    when you're a teenage female
  • 15:46 - 15:48
    growing up in the public eye,
  • 15:48 - 15:50
    it is a lot of scrutiny that you face,
  • 15:50 - 15:52
    and as any female that's a teenager,
  • 15:52 - 15:54
    I definitely was not
    comfortable in my body.
  • 15:54 - 15:55
    I didn't like it.
  • 15:55 - 15:58
    I didn't understand why I had muscles.
  • 15:58 - 16:00
    And I stopped lifting weights.
  • 16:00 - 16:02
    I was like, I'm not going to do this.
  • 16:02 - 16:03
    But then after I won the US Open,
  • 16:03 - 16:06
    I realized that my body helped me
    reach goals that I wanted to reach,
  • 16:06 - 16:08
    and I wanted to be happy with it,
  • 16:08 - 16:11
    and I was so appreciative of it.
  • 16:11 - 16:12
    I'm always healthy.
  • 16:12 - 16:14
    I'm really fortunate and superblessed,
  • 16:14 - 16:17
    and I felt like not only
    am I happy with my body,
  • 16:17 - 16:19
    but I want other people
    and other young girls
  • 16:19 - 16:21
    that have experienced
    what I've experienced
  • 16:22 - 16:23
    to be happy with themselves.
  • 16:23 - 16:24
    So whatever people say --
  • 16:24 - 16:27
    masculine, whatever,
    too much, too little --
  • 16:27 - 16:30
    I'm OK with it as long as I love myself.
  • 16:30 - 16:33
    (Applause)
  • 16:35 - 16:37
    GK: I know you learn a lot from winning,
  • 16:37 - 16:39
    but what have you learned from losing?
  • 16:39 - 16:43
    SW: I hate to lose, but I think
    losing has brought me here today.
  • 16:43 - 16:46
    The only reason I am who I am
    is because of my losses,
  • 16:46 - 16:48
    and some of them are extremely painful,
  • 16:48 - 16:51
    but I wouldn't take any of them away,
  • 16:51 - 16:54
    because every time I lose,
  • 16:54 - 16:56
    it takes a really long time
    for me to lose again
  • 16:56 - 16:58
    because I learn so much from it.
  • 16:58 - 17:00
    And I encourage everyone that I talk to --
  • 17:00 - 17:03
    I'm like, listen, if you lose
    or if something happens --
  • 17:03 - 17:06
    not in sports --
    in business or in school --
  • 17:06 - 17:07
    learn from it.
  • 17:07 - 17:10
    Don't live in the past,
    live in the present,
  • 17:10 - 17:12
    and don't make the same
    mistakes in the future.
  • 17:12 - 17:14
    That's something
    that I always try to live by.
  • 17:14 - 17:16
    GK: Now you're planning a wedding
  • 17:16 - 17:18
    and I want to know,
    is it a destination wedding
  • 17:18 - 17:21
    in the Catskills or Poconos
    or are you going to do it in Florida?
  • 17:21 - 17:23
    What are you thinking?
  • 17:23 - 17:25
    Big or small?
  • 17:25 - 17:28
    SW: We're thinking medium size.
    We don't want to do too big,
  • 17:28 - 17:31
    but then we're like, OK, we can't
    say no to this person, this person.
  • 17:31 - 17:34
    So we're thinking medium size
    and we're just thinking --
  • 17:34 - 17:37
    My personality is a lot of fun.
    Hopefully you can see that today.
  • 17:37 - 17:38
    I'm not too serious.
  • 17:38 - 17:40
    GK: And you like to dance.
  • 17:40 - 17:43
    And the next chapter
    for Serena Williams is what?
  • 17:43 - 17:45
    SW: Oh, next for me.
  • 17:45 - 17:47
    Obviously I'm going to have a baby
  • 17:47 - 17:50
    and I'm going to stay fit
    and kind of come back and play tennis
  • 17:50 - 17:52
    and keep working on my fashion line.
  • 17:52 - 17:53
    That'll be really fun.
  • 17:53 - 17:55
    GK: Do you know if it's a boy or girl?
  • 17:55 - 17:59
    SW: I don't. I have a feeling
    of one or the other.
  • 17:59 - 18:01
    It's a 50-50 chance, but I have a feeling.
  • 18:01 - 18:02
    GK: Gayle is a unisex name.
  • 18:02 - 18:05
    Whatever you and Alexis decide,
    we are cheering you on!
  • 18:05 - 18:07
    SW: Thank you for that.
    GK: You're welcome.
  • 18:07 - 18:10
    We are cheering you on, Serena Williams.
    SW: Thank you so much.
  • 18:10 - 18:11
    Thank you guys.
  • 18:11 - 18:14
    (Applause)
Title:
On tennis, love and motherhood
Speaker:
Serena Williams and Gayle King
Description:

Twenty-three Grand Slam titles later, tennis superstar Serena Williams sits down with journalist Gayle King to share a warm, mischievous conversation about her life, love, wins and losses -- starting with the story of how she accidentally shared her pregnancy news with the world.

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Video Language:
English
Team:
closed TED
Project:
TEDTalks
Duration:
18:28

English subtitles

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