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[REGGAE MUSIC PLAYS]

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I think I like reggae because it's like listening[br]to a party.

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It's like almost company, in a sense.

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[Jamian Juliano-Villani, artist]

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It's music that's actually made from necessity.

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They built their own soundsystems,

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their own speakers,

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their own recording devices,

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and, like, they just used the shit that they[br]had.

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["New York Close Up"]

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Well, that's kind of what I do, too.

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Like, I make my paintings out of necessity

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and like using the things around me to communicate[br]what I need to,

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because I'm really bad at articulating how[br]I feel,

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vocally.

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The paintings do that for me.

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["Jamian Juliano-Villani's Painting Compulsion"]

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[CLICKING SOUNDS FROM CAMERA PHONE SHUTTER]

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I just like this book because

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it's like really basic ways to compare things.

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When I look at something, I just take notes[br]of ideas.

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Green. Suede. Fleece.

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Tower of Babel.

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Microscopic life.

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Hummingbird. Hand and egg. Daddy long legs.

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Daddy super long legs.

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And you know that daddy long legs are the[br]most poisonous spider in the world?

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Except that they don't have teeth.

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So if they had teeth, you would be dead.

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For the one I'm doing now with the feet,

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those are Bruce Nauman feet.

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I want the feet to somehow look scared,

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if I could figure that out.

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So maybe a daddy long legs would do it.

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Ever since I was little, I just kind of have[br]this registry of facts in my brain.

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In high school, I used to keep scrap books[br]of all the things that I liked.

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I would just cut them out and put them in[br]there and save them.

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And I think that these are the kinds of things[br]that made me feel comfortable.

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And it seemed so natural, when I started painting,

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to kind of do the same thing.

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When I'm working, I have probably, like, thirty[br]images that,

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in a month or two months, I'll keep on coming back to.

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I really will try to make those work with[br]what I'm doing.

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But, they never look like they're supposed[br]to be together.

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That's when shit gets good.

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That's when the painting can change from "an[br]image-based narrative" into something else.

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So, it could get dark or surreal

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or funny or fucked up--

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it's like I'm trying to deliver a baby, you[br]know?

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And the baby is, like, really...

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has like eight arms and is really fucked up

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and, like, I don't know how to deliver a baby,[br]you know?

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I'm trying to figure out what kind of person[br]this is going to be.

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Because I don't think it should be as simple[br]as a human face,

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and I also don't know if it should just be[br]an animal, either.

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But, right now, I'm kind of just scrolling[br]through a bunch of images.

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I'm just going to plop around and see what[br]feels right.

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No.

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Too dumb.

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So this is Shen Koo. I really like his work.

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He's like this, kind of, crazy apocalyptic[br]illustrator.

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The reason why I use cartoons a lot of the[br]times

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is because I like that they're a kind of populist[br]way of communicating.

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Because painting is not populist at all, you[br]know?

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--I kind of like that idea.

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I respond to things immediately

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in like an emotional, guttural way,

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and that's how decisions are formed.

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It's like when something pisses you off.

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Something stresses you out.

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Or, you like the color of something.

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You're like, "I like that sweater,"

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"Fuck it, I want that sweater."

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You know? It's like...

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[SNAPS FINGERS] Like that.

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[SOUND OF A CAR SCREECHING TO A HALT AND THEN CRASHING]

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I feel much better about doing the paintings[br]I do by using other references

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so it's not so insular--

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it's not so personal.

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They're also helping me figure out

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the things that I can't communicate yet to[br]myself.

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The one painting I did with the wavy fox in[br]that cage,

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that's fucking me, you know!?

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That's how I felt.

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I didn't realize it then.

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I think they're all extensions of me

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or self-portraits in some way--

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or at least an attitude that I have.

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Those are things you can't necessarily put[br]into words.

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And, like, having a really rough childhood...

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And, I also have a twin,

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so it was really hard for me to talk to other[br]people.

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I would just talk to my twin, and that would[br]be it, you know?

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And, like, I didn't need any friends.

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And I didn't really have any friends growing[br]up, you know?

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Like, maybe two?

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One of them was my sibling.

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Uh, doesn't really count.

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I think because of that, I have a hard time[br]communicating with people,

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or, like, connecting with people.

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Having to, like, basically just rely on myself.

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It's like, if I don't take care of myself,[br]no one else will.

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I have this obsessive relationship with my[br]work and the way I work

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because it's kind of like my friend.

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It's like the thing that validates me--makes[br]me feel good.

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I care about it and they care about me.

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It's why I put the things that I collect--and[br]really, really love--

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in my paintings, you know?

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Like, they're almost company, in a sense.